You Don't Have a Motivation Problem. You're Solving the Wrong Problem!You Don't Have a Motivation Problem. You're Solving the Wrong Problem!
RAW CHATTER!
Vicky Midwood breaks down why repeated habits with alcohol, food, scrolling or overworking might be solutions to uncomfortable feelings rather than motivation failures. She shares her own experiences and offers questions to help people work out what their behaviour is really giving them and what it may be costing them long term.
23:13•20 Oct 2026
You Don’t Have a Motivation Problem – You’re Solving the Wrong One
Episode Overview
- Habits like drinking, bingeing, scrolling or overworking are often solutions to change how you feel, not proof of a motivation or willpower failure.
- Focusing only on stopping the behaviour without asking what it gives you usually keeps you stuck and strengthens shame-based stories about being weak or lazy.
- Coping strategies can bring short-term comfort, control or distraction, but often create long-term costs such as physical symptoms, exhaustion and emotional disconnection.
- Asking what happened just before the urge, what sensation you felt and what you hoped the habit would give you builds understanding and opens the door to better solutions.
- Busy, high-achieving identities and constant availability to others can hide serious stress and health problems, so it’s vital to question what your current lifestyle is really costing you.
“These are all coping strategies… they are the solution. They give you something.”
How do people cope with the challenges of staying sober and breaking other draining habits? RAW CHATTER! host Vicky Midwood gets into that exact question in this solo session, pulling together science, experience and everyday behaviour in a way that feels brutally honest and strangely comforting.
Vicky talks about three everyday characters – Caroline with her automatic post-work wine, Andrew staring into the fridge after a three-course dinner, and Annabelle doom-scrolling in bed – to show that these habits might look different on the surface, but often share the same purpose: “they are the solution… they give you something.” Instead of blaming motivation, she argues that many people are simply trying to fix the wrong problem.
Drawing on her history with bulimia, alcohol dependence and overworking before her heart attack at 49, Vicky explains how food, drink, busyness and people-pleasing can act as coping strategies that help you avoid feelings like loneliness, confusion or not being good enough. The catch? They come with a “payoff” – from shame and weight gain to migraines, gut issues and exhaustion.
You’ll hear her challenge the classic self-talk of “I’m not disciplined enough” and “I’m just not motivated,” and instead invite you to ask different questions: What happened just before you wanted the drink, the snack or the scroll? What are you hoping it’ll give you – relief, comfort, connection, control, distraction? And what might you actually need instead?
The style is straight-talking, practical and very human, aimed at anyone stuck in loops with alcohol, food, overworking or constant busyness, especially those who look "successful" on the outside but know something isn’t right inside. If you’ve been trying to fix your behaviour with more rules and willpower, this chat may make you pause and ask: are you genuinely lazy and unmotivated, or have you just been solving the wrong problem all along?
Do you want to link to this podcast?
Get the buttons here!
More From This Show
The latest episodes from the same podcast.