You’re Not Addicted to the Habit - Here’s Why You Keep Going BackYou’re Not Addicted to the Habit - Here’s Why You Keep Going Back
RAW CHATTER!
Vicky Midwood talks about why habits like drinking, overeating and scrolling persist, suggesting people are attached to who these habits let them be rather than the habit itself. She discusses childhood programming, identity and practical ways to interrupt patterns without relying on willpower alone.
17:33•4 May 2026
You’re Not Addicted to the Habit: You’re Attached to Who It Lets You Be
Episode Overview
- Habits like drinking, overeating and scrolling are described as solutions that work temporarily by soothing, distracting or boosting confidence.
- Vicky argues that people are not addicted to the habit itself but attached to the version of themselves that appears when they use it.
- Childhood experiences, role models and repeated patterns shape default programming that drives automatic behaviours in adulthood.
- Lasting change is said to begin by interrupting the moment you usually become the “old” version of yourself, rather than trying to rely on sheer willpower.
- Supportive environments, real-time help and self-compassion are highlighted as key factors in shifting identity and reducing reliance on harmful habits.
“You’re not actually addicted to the thing. Even though it feels that way. You are attached to the version of you that exists when you do it.”
What drives someone to seek a life without alcohol or compulsive habits like overeating, scrolling or overworking? RAW CHATTER! host Vicky Midwood tackles that question head-on by suggesting the issue isn’t the habit itself, but the version of you that comes alive when you do it. Speaking as a behavioural strategist and integrative health consultant, Vicky explains that food, alcohol, work, people-pleasing and phones all “work” in the short term.
They soothe, distract, boost confidence or create a sense of control. The catch, she says, is that “you’re not actually addicted to the thing… you are attached to the version of you that exists when you do it.” This episode is ideal for anyone who keeps promising, “I’ll stop this week” or “This time will be different,” yet finds themselves right back in the same patterns.
Vicky breaks down how childhood programming, perfectionism and people‑pleasing shape an identity that leans on these habits. You’ll hear how repeated behaviours become automatic, fast and efficient, so “just stop doing it” simply doesn’t work for most people. Instead of hammering willpower, Vicky focuses on interrupting the moment you usually become that familiar version of yourself—the one who reaches for the drink, the food or the phone to escape, numb out or avoid conflict.
She stresses that this is “nothing to do with being weak or with being disciplined” and that change starts by shifting who you’re being, not just what you’re doing. Along the way, she shares her own experiences and client stories to show that identity change can happen more quickly than you might expect, especially with supportive people around you and a bit of self‑compassion.
If you’ve been struggling silently with habits you’re ashamed of, this straight-talking, science-based chat might be the nudge you need to start asking: who am I trying to be when I use this habit—and who do I actually want to be instead?
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