06-11-2026 Listening to Avoid a Conflict

06-11-2026 Listening to Avoid a Conflict

What are the common struggles and victories in addiction recovery? This conversation zeroes in on one that trips almost everyone up: actually listening during conflict. On Levelheaded Talk, Dr. Andrea Vitz and co-host Jon Leon Guerrero break down why “not listening” is the fourth most common mistake people make in conflict, including high-level leaders.

They point out how easy it is to think you’re listening while you’re really just planning your comeback, filtering everything through, “What does this mean about me?” or imagining worst-case scenarios like, “This relationship is doomed” or “I’m going to be fired.” Dr. Vitz explains that when both people are stuck on being right and “winning,” there’s no real resolution on the table.

One of her key lines sums it up sharply: “All interpretation is misinterpretation.” Instead of reacting to our own storyline about what was said, she suggests hearing the other person’s actual words and letting them finish.

Jon shares a relatable tell-tale sign that he’s slipping into this mistake: “I can’t wait to reply.” His tactic is to pause once the other person finishes and say something like, “Just give me a minute to consider those things,” then genuinely sit with it before responding. Dr. Vitz loves this approach and highlights the power of phrases such as, “Let me process what I’ve heard you say,” as a way to show someone they’ve truly been heard.

The episode keeps circling back to emotional sobriety: staying calm, dropping the urge to be right, and being willing to be “the actual calm in the storm” if you want to be an effective leader. It’s especially useful for anyone in recovery, in leadership, or simply tired of having the same arguments on repeat. So, next time your blood starts to boil in a disagreement, are you ready to listen first instead of loading your next line?