#117 NOW you want me to pray?!#117 NOW you want me to pray?!
The Gathering With Roger B.
Roger B and The Gathering community talk candidly about resistance to prayer, developing a personal idea of a higher power and how spiritual practice fits into long-term sobriety. Members share their experiences of powerlessness, shame and gradual change through 12-step work and daily connection with something greater than themselves.
1:02:54•20 Aug 2026
“NOW You Want Me to Pray?!” Prayer, Powerlessness and Finding a Higher Power
Episode Overview
- Prayer can begin even from disbelief or anger; honest intention matters more than perfect words.
- Step Two and Step Three are framed as a gradual willingness to trust a power greater than oneself, rather than instant belief.
- Many people in recovery move from external validation to recognising that real change is an inner, spiritual process.
- Different forms of prayer – petitions, gratitude, claiming prayers and simple conversation – are all used to build a living relationship with a higher power.
- Shame and the belief of being unforgivable often block spiritual growth, but shared experience shows these stories about oneself are not the final truth.
“My prayer was thanks for another shitty day… and then it occurred to me, I wonder if I just tweaked this thing, if it would be different.”
Curious about how others handle the whole “now you want me to pray?!” moment in recovery? This Gathering session follows Roger B. and the community as they wrestle with prayer, higher power, and what it actually means to rely on something beyond sheer willpower. Roger shares how he arrived in recovery as a “devout, militant, evangelical atheist,” convinced that admitting powerlessness over alcohol was already a massive concession.
Prayer sounded pointless, especially without any idea of what – or who – he was praying to. Yet gentle nudges from people like Mel, the old Marine who kept asking, “Are you praying?”, slowly pushed him into trying it anyway. His first honest effort? “My prayer was thanks for another shitty day.” As different members share, you’ll hear stories of relapse, dry drunk phases, shame, and stubborn self-reliance giving way to an unexpected inner shift.
Themes include moving from external measures of success to an “inside job”, letting go of rigid religious pictures of God, and learning that “prayer changes the person who prays” more than it changes circumstances. The conversation stays grounded in 12-step principles, especially Steps Two, Three and Eleven, but it’s wide open to varied beliefs. Some talk about “mystery” or “creator” instead of God; others lean on traditional faith. What connects them is intention and willingness, rather than perfect words.
As Roger puts it, the real question becomes: how do you form a living relationship with a power greater than yourself so that sobriety is more than just abstinence? If you’ve ever rolled your eyes at the idea of praying in recovery, or felt secretly convinced you’re “unredeemable”, this session might nudge you to ask: what if the problem isn’t prayer itself, but the story you’ve been telling yourself about it?
Do you want to link to this podcast?
Get the buttons here!
More From This Show
The latest episodes from the same podcast.