16: Brave Together Podcast - Jessica Patay, Susanna Peace Lovell and Dr. Zoe Shaw - Episode 1616: Brave Together Podcast - Jessica Patay, Susanna Peace Lovell and Dr. Zoe Shaw - Episode 16
UK Health Radio Podcast
Three caregiving mums talk frankly about what happens when one parent is in denial about a child’s diagnosis, sharing stories of grief, shame and hidden strain. They offer practical ideas for building support, holding partners accountable and finding community rather than carrying everything alone.
45:27•6 May 2026
When One Parent Is in Denial: Brave Conversations About Diagnosis and Partnership
Episode Overview
- Denial of a child’s diagnosis often masks grief, fear and shame, rather than simple indifference.
- Inviting partners to key medical and therapy appointments can make the diagnosis feel real and shared.
- Overempathy and doing everything alone can slide into codependency and burnout for the primary caregiver.
- Hiding a diagnosis to avoid labels can increase isolation; people usually sense differences anyway.
- It is valid to ask for help and hold a partner accountable, even if it temporarily makes them uncomfortable.
“We can have the empathy and still demand that someone shows up in the way that they need to show up.”
Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey while also caring for children with complex needs? This conversation on UK Health Radio’s Brave Together Podcast brings together three mums who live it every day: founder Jessica Patay, life and soul-care coach Susanna Peace Lovell, and therapist Dr. Zoe Shaw. Aimed at parents of children with disabilities, neurodivergence and other unique needs, the chat focuses on what happens when one parent denies or downplays a child’s diagnosis.
You’ll hear very real stories of sleepless nights, medical machines in the bedroom, partners moving out of the room because it’s "too much", and one parent quietly shouldering everything. Dr. Zoe openly reflects on her mistake of "overempathising" with her ex-partner, leading to codependency rather than partnership. The trio talk through grief, fear and shame, especially when a partner doesn’t want to talk about the diagnosis or refuses to tell family and friends.
Jessica shares how early advice to "not tell anybody" about her son’s lifelong disability quickly gave way to a different reality: "Everybody knows your kid’s different anyways, whether you say it or not." Susanna adds the cultural layer, describing how Asian ideas about saving face clashed with her need for openness and community.
Practical ideas run through the conversation: inviting partners to medical appointments so they hear information first-hand, seeking couple or family therapy after diagnosis, resisting the urge to "do it all" and burn out, and asking directly for help at home even if it makes someone grumpy. As Dr.
Zoe puts it, "We can have the empathy and still demand that someone shows up in the way that they need to show up." If you’re feeling alone with the mental load, quietly resentful, or scared to rock the boat with your partner, this honest chat might be the nudge to ask: what support do you actually need, and who could stand in the trenches with you?
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