169 - Jacob tells his story about relapse - What happened after 3.5 years!169 - Jacob tells his story about relapse - What happened after 3.5 years!
Real Recovery Talk
Jacob talks about relapsing after three and a half years sober, describing how subtle compromises and legal substances led him back to alcohol. Tom and Ben reflect with him on community, honesty and returning to the basics of recovery to start again.
45:51•4 Feb 2021
Relapse After 3.5 Years: Jacob’s Hard Reset on Sobriety
Episode Overview
- Strong routines, meetings and sponsorship helped keep Jacob sober in early recovery, but complacency began when these habits faded.
- Legal or "soft" substances like CBD, kava and kratom became stepping-stones back to marijuana and eventually alcohol.
- Ego, anxiety, depression and unresolved trauma contributed to Jacob seeking external fixes instead of spiritual and emotional support.
- Romantic relationships and work success became higher powers, replacing his focus on recovery and spiritual growth.
- Honest connection with others—and allowing someone to reach out on his behalf—opened the door to starting the steps again and rebuilding support.
“"Look, dude, I'm sitting at a bar right now drunk and I am completely miserable. I am so close to going home and just ending my life."”
Curious about how others handle their sobriety journey? This conversation on Real Recovery Talk follows Jacob, a 26-year-old from Memphis living in South Florida, as he talks through relapse after three and a half years alcohol- and drug-free. Hosted by Tom Conrad, with co-host Benjamin B, the chat has an honest, no-frills feel. Ben has known Jacob since he was 18, so you’ll hear both Jacob’s side and what it looked like from the outside.
Jacob shares how he threw himself into recovery: morning readings, a full-time job, daily meetings, multiple home groups, the gym, sponsoring others and living with sober housemates. He even picked up his 90-day chip on his 21st birthday instead of going to the bar. Then comes the slow slide: fewer meetings, less contact with his sponsor, drifting from his sober "family", and getting pulled into a new work crowd and club scene.
CBD, kava and kratom creep in under the banner of being "legal" and "medicinal", then marijuana joins the mix. Jacob’s ego, anxiety and untreated trauma ramp up while his spiritual life fades. The turning point is brutally honest and hard to forget: "Look, dude, I'm sitting at a bar right now drunk and I am completely miserable.
I am so close to going home and just ending my life." Too scared to ask for help himself, a friend reaches out to Ben, and that call becomes the start of Jacob’s new attempt at sobriety. Rather than shaming relapse, Tom and Ben focus on what can be learned: the danger of complacency, why "just weed" or kratom isn’t harmless for everyone, and how crucial genuine community and honesty are.
Jacob talks about getting a new sponsor, returning to the steps and rebuilding his spiritual and social foundations. If you’ve ever wondered how a solid recovery can wobble—and how someone begins again—this one might hit close to home. What safeguards are you putting in place for your own sobriety?
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