168 - How to NOT RELAPSE with Ben and Tom

168 - How to NOT RELAPSE with Ben and Tom

How do people cope with the challenges of staying sober? This conversation on Real Recovery Talk zooms in on one core aim: how to stack the odds against relapse by building a life that actually feels worth protecting. Host Tom Conrad and co-host Benjamin B keep things real and practical as they question the usual buzzword of “relapse prevention”. Ben even jokes he’s seen so many “relapse prevention groups” that the phrase barely means anything anymore.

Instead, they shift focus to being proactive and building what they call **recovery capital** – the emotional, relational and practical “bank account” that makes going back to drink or drugs a much bigger loss. Tom explains the difference between being “sober” and just being “dry”: a sober person has done the internal work, while a dry person has only put the substance down.

As he puts it, “If life isn’t good and rewarding, I’m going to go back to getting high… so I need to make sure that life is starting to feel good.” That means meetings before you desperately need them, doing the inner work, and not relying on fellowship alone to fix things.

You’ll hear concrete examples from their treatment work at Rock Recovery Center: clients losing jobs, licences, or housing, and learning to handle these hits without reaching for a substance. They talk about the “pink cloud” wearing off, responsibility piling up in long-term sobriety, and how a solid schedule can stop those dangerous empty hours from creeping in.

The episode closes with a simple but tough challenge: fill your life with sober friends and environments, and stop trying to live your old lifestyle without the drink or drugs. If you’re trying to stay sober, who and what is in your “recovery capital bank” right now – and what are you doing this week to add to it?