#21 Trauma Bonds- Why We Stay in Toxic Relationships

#21 Trauma Bonds- Why We Stay in Toxic Relationships

Ever wondered why you or someone you know stays in a toxic relationship? This episode of The Trauma Recovery School podcast dives into the concept of trauma bonds and why they can be so hard to break. Bonita Ackerman du Preez, an award-winning master trauma recovery therapist, explains that these bonds are powerful emotional attachments formed through cycles of pain and reward.

They are not based on love or mutual respect but on manipulation and survival instincts, deeply rooted in past traumas. These bonds can occur not only in romantic relationships but also with family members, friends, and even co-workers. The episode reveals how these bonds shape your interactions with new relationships and even with yourself. Bonita explains that trauma bonds stem from the brain's response to trauma, involving stress hormones like cortisol and feel-good chemicals like dopamine and serotonin.

This creates an addictive push-pull dynamic that is difficult to escape. For those who experienced childhood trauma, this cycle might feel all too familiar, making it even harder to break free. Bonita outlines the seven stages of trauma bonds, starting with love bombing and ending with addiction to the cycle. She highlights how these stages create a dependency on the toxic person and reinforce the bond through intermittent kindness and cruelty.

If you recognise these patterns in your life, this episode offers valuable insights into understanding and addressing them. Tune in to learn more about how trauma bonds affect your relationships and what you can do to break free from them.