234 - Don't waste your time going to treatment! (If your not going to do anything)234 - Don't waste your time going to treatment! (If your not going to do anything)
Real Recovery Talk
Tom Conrad and Benjamin B discuss how people can waste their time in addiction treatment by only showing up instead of fully engaging. They outline practical benchmarks for genuine participation and stress the importance of building a real life and sober community beyond the treatment centre.
27:02•20 Nov 2022
Why Treatment Fails When You Just Show Up and Don’t Do the Work
Episode Overview
- Simply attending groups and collecting perfect attendance does not equal meaningful recovery work.
- Within the first 30 days, honest group participation, open therapy sessions, and medication compliance are key signs of real engagement.
- As treatment intensity decreases, using extra time for work, school, volunteering, and meetings is crucial rather than hiding in the programme.
- Clients are encouraged to build a sober network and find meetings and home groups outside of the treatment centre environment.
- Treatment centres must avoid becoming an unhealthy substitute family and sometimes need to firmly push clients to stand on their own feet.
“"I'd rather step on your toes than step on your grave and tell you the truth and say, hey, this is time for you to spread your wings and go."”
Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey? Real Recovery Talk brings a straight-talking conversation between hosts Tom Conrad and Benjamin B about one hard truth: treatment only works if you actually engage with it. Aimed at people in early recovery and families trying to understand the process, this episode takes a close look at what separates those who grow in treatment from those who simply mark time.
Tom and Ben speak from hands-on experience in a treatment centre, sharing patterns they see over and over. You’ll hear them contrast two types of clients: the ones who are "all in"—doing groups, being honest in therapy, building a sober network—and the ones who just show up, collect perfect attendance, and expect that to equal recovery.
As Tom bluntly puts it, "When we have someone that enters into the treatment process and they don't do anything, they are wasting their time." They break treatment into phases and give clear benchmarks. In the first 30 days, they look for group participation, honesty with therapists, and "medication compliance" so the team can actually help.
Ben notes that therapists "can only match that of the willingness of the client," calling out the trap of spending an entire stay finally admitting problems but leaving no time to work on solutions. Once people move into intensive outpatient, the focus shifts: what are you doing with the extra 20 hours a week? Tom shares the story of an 18-year-old client getting up at 3 a.m.
for a Target job and still showing up for groups—a simple example of building a real life, not hiding in treatment. They also highlight the importance of building a sober community outside the centre, not treating staff and peers as a permanent substitute family. If you or someone you care about is in treatment, this conversation might nudge you to ask: are you just attending, or are you actually changing?
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