253 - Leaving a High-Control Religion: Breaking Free of the Shame That Binds You w/ Crystal Hamilton253 - Leaving a High-Control Religion: Breaking Free of the Shame That Binds You w/ Crystal Hamilton
Adult Child
Counsellor Crystal Hamilton talks about leaving Mormonism, getting sober, and confronting shame, family violence and complex boundaries. The conversation focuses on healing from high-control religion while raising a grandchild affected by fentanyl and reassessing relationships that no longer feel safe.
57:22•21 Oct 2026
Leaving a High-Control Faith, Finding Sobriety and Ditching the Shame with Crystal Hamilton
Episode Overview
- Leaving a high-control religion can leave deep shame that resurfaces years later, especially around sex, identity and womanhood.
- Codependent patterns such as people-pleasing and silent suffering are often learned at home and show up strongly in adult relationships.
- Sobriety may provide a foundation, but many people need additional therapy or modalities like lifespan integration to address childhood trauma.
- Supporting a loved one through fentanyl addiction requires firm boundaries, even when child protection systems feel contradictory or unsafe.
- Choosing yourself can mean limiting contact with abusive or dismissive family members, even when they react badly to you speaking your truth.
“Anybody who leaves the church is that you're going to become an addict and you're going to be miserable. Okay. Well, I did that check and I'm okay.”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety? This conversation between host Andrea Ashley and guest Crystal Hamilton offers a blunt, funny and heavy look at what it’s like to leave a high‑control religion and then battle addiction, shame and family drama on the other side.
Crystal, a counsellor and 12 years sober, grew up the youngest of six in a Mormon home where her job was to "stay quiet and not cause problems." She explains how messages like "if you loved me, you would do this" seeped into her adult relationships and fed codependency and resentment. Her line, "Anybody who leaves the church is that you're going to become an addict and you're going to be miserable. Okay.
Well, I did that check and I'm okay" neatly sums up the mix of sarcasm and hard‑won resilience that runs through the episode.
You’ll hear Crystal talk about getting sober alongside her husband, realising that the 12 steps were a foundation but not the whole answer, and finding deeper healing through a modality called lifespan integration – a form of inner‑child and timeline work that helped her see her past wasn’t "all bad" and start honouring the kid who learned not to take up space.
For anyone dealing with addiction inside a messy family system, the section on raising a drug‑exposed grandchild while a stepdaughter tackles fentanyl addiction is likely to hit hard. Crystal shares the emotional tug‑of‑war between supporting recovery, setting boundaries, and feeling let down by child protection policies that condone active use under "harm reduction".
There’s also honest talk about sibling violence, strained ties with still‑Mormon relatives, and what it feels like when one partner keeps growing and the other stops doing the deeper work. If you’re wrestling with religious shame, family loyalty, or a partner who’s sober but stuck, this raw chat might leave you asking: where do you need to stop staying quiet and start choosing yourself?
Do you want to link to this podcast?
Get the buttons here!
More From This Show
The latest episodes from the same podcast.