SHITSHOW SATURDAY #224 – When You Just Want a ParentSHITSHOW SATURDAY #224 – When You Just Want a Parent
Adult Child
This episode centres on the aching, often hidden wish to have a parent who truly shows up, even in adulthood, and how that longing surfaces during crises and big life moments. It also shares how somatic work and supportive relationships can help people care for the part of themselves that still wants a mum or dad.
33:19•3 Oct 2026
When You Just Want a Parent: Adult Longing, Somatic Healing and Finding Support
Episode Overview
- Feeling a deep longing for a parent as an adult is presented as a normal, human response, not a sign of failure.
- People may reach for a parent who sometimes showed up, an idealised parent they never had, or simply any parental figure at all.
- Major stressors, medical issues, big wins and life milestones often bring this longing roaring back, especially when parents cannot or will not show up.
- Finding partial parental support in friends, partners, therapists or community members can ease the isolation, even if it never fully replaces a parent.
- The Safe Within somatic course is described as slow, gentle work that keeps participants in control, aims to include those who feel "too broken", and avoids pushing anyone into trauma.
“It doesn't matter how old you are... there is a part in every one of us that still wants a mom or dad to step in and take care of us.”
What remarkable journeys have people faced head-on against addiction? This Shitshow Saturday episode of Adult Child zeroes in on a different, but deeply related question: what happens when you’re grown up, doing the work, yet a part of you still just wants a parent? Andrea Ashley and members of the Adult Child community talk candidly about that quiet, aching part that longs for a mum or dad to step in.
As one reading puts it, "there is a part in every one of us that still wants a mom or dad to step in and take care of us." You’ll hear people describe three flavours of this longing: reaching for the version of a parent who *sometimes* showed up, yearning for the parent they wish they’d had, or just wanting anybody who could have been a parent at all.
Stories range from friends’ parents delivering groceries during an abusive relationship, to a boyfriend’s mum stepping in during a medical crisis, to watching TV weddings and wondering, "is that what it's like to have a mom that shows up?" Others share the sting of parents turning good news into drama, or physically being present at surgery yet failing to offer basic comfort.
Andrea also talks about Safe Within, a 7-week live somatic course built specifically for people who are terrified of "dropping into" their bodies, convinced they’re too broken, or worried their childhood "wasn't bad enough" to deserve support. She emphasises going slow, building capacity and keeping you "in the driver's seat" with no pressure, no gold-star performance, and no digging into trauma.
Along the way, there’s reflection on learning to stop chasing an old version of mum, diversifying sources of support, and beginning to mother oneself. If you’ve ever felt embarrassed that you still want a parent, this conversation treats that desire as utterly human and offers gentle, practical ways to care for the part of you that still hopes someone will show up. Could hearing these shares help you feel less alone in what your heart quietly asks for?
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