#34 Unlock the Million Dollar Question- Why Trauma Tears Apart Relationships & How to Rebuild Connection#34 Unlock the Million Dollar Question- Why Trauma Tears Apart Relationships & How to Rebuild Connection
The Trauma Recovery School
Bonita Ackerman du Preez explores how trauma impacts relationships and offers strategies for healing emotional gaps and improving communication.
6:49•6 Feb 2025
Rebuilding Connections: How Trauma Impacts Relationships
Episode Overview
- Understand how trauma influences relationship dynamics.
- Recognise the unrealistic expectations placed on partners.
- Focus on healing emotional gaps within yourself first.
- Improve communication through effective negotiation.
- Reduce disappointment by managing relationship pressures.
“What if the key is actually recognising that some of these voids need healing within ourselves first rather than try and get it from our partner?”
In this episode of The Trauma Recovery School, Bonita Ackerman du Preez unpacks the complex ways trauma impacts our relationships and offers insights on how to rebuild connections. Drawing from her extensive experience as a master trauma recovery therapist, Bonita explains why trauma can make relationships feel like an uphill battle. She highlights the unrealistic expectations we often place on our partners, expecting them to fulfil multiple roles that may be impossible for one person to manage.
This pressure can create a void, leaving us feeling disappointed and disconnected. Bonita emphasises the importance of healing within ourselves first, rather than relying solely on our partners to fill emotional gaps left by past traumas. She also discusses the concept of communicative negotiation, stressing that effective communication is crucial for healthy relationships. Trauma, however, can impair our ability to communicate, leading to fear, anxiety, and emotional shutdown.
Bonita's approach involves helping individuals understand their trauma and its effects on their relationships, offering strategies to improve communication and reduce unrealistic expectations. By focusing on self-love and identity, Bonita believes that individuals can rebuild their relationships and find greater satisfaction and connection. If you're struggling with relationship issues due to trauma, this episode offers valuable insights and practical advice to help you navigate these challenges.

Do you want to link to this podcast?
Get the buttons here!
More From This Show
The latest episodes from the same podcast.
Related Episodes
Similar episodes from other shows in the catalogue.
