439 How to Stay Grounded and Sober Through a High-Conflict Divorce439 How to Stay Grounded and Sober Through a High-Conflict Divorce
The One Day At A Time Recovery Podcast
Arlina Allen talks with divorce coach Kenya Munich about staying grounded and substance-free during a high-conflict divorce and ongoing post-separation abuse. The discussion covers emotional coping tools, co-parenting challenges, financial strain and rebuilding identity after leaving an abusive marriage.
45:28•16 Jul 2026
Staying Sober and Steady Through a High-Conflict Divorce
Episode Overview
- View yourself as the decision-maker: “the CEO of your divorce” rather than handing control to lawyers or ex-partners.
- Use healthy self-soothing instead of alcohol or drugs to manage overwhelming stress and anxiety.
- Apply the grey rock method by not reacting to harassment, baiting messages or unnecessary contact.
- Support children by listening, validating their feelings and teaching them to communicate and advocate for themselves.
- After divorce, focus on rebuilding self-trust and identity through curiosity, creativity and small choices that reflect who you are now.
“You are the CEO of your divorce, nobody else.”
What are the common struggles and victories in addiction recovery? This conversation between host Arlina Allen and divorce coach Kenya Munich digs into one of the toughest: staying sober and sane through a high‑conflict divorce. Kenya shares her own experience of a six‑figure, high‑conflict divorce that didn’t end when the papers were signed.
She explains how post‑separation abuse can show up as harassment, legal games, financial draining and using children as leverage, all while you’re trying to stay sober and keep your life together. As she puts it plainly, “You are the CEO of your divorce, nobody else.” You’ll hear practical ideas for self‑soothing without numbing out with alcohol or drugs, including creating emotional boundaries, using the “grey rock” method to stop feeding drama, and focusing on what you can actually control.
Kenya offers concrete examples of when to ignore messages, how to let kids vent without jumping into rescue mode, and how to teach children to advocate for themselves instead of getting stuck in endless co‑parent conflict. The episode also spends time on life after the court dates: rebuilding trust in yourself, redefining identity once the roles of ‘wife’ and ‘full‑time mum’ are gone, and even using style and self‑expression as a playful way to reconnect with who you are now.
There’s plenty here for anyone in recovery who’s dealing with divorce, court stress, or an ex who just won’t let go. If you’re juggling sobriety, legal battles and parenting stress, this one might help you feel less alone and give you a few grounded moves to try next. What’s one small area of your life you could start being the “CEO” of today?
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