#718 Bipolar 1 & Mortality - Ruby Cohen Love#718 Bipolar 1 & Mortality - Ruby Cohen Love
Mental Illness Happy Hour
Ruby Cohen Love talks with Paul Gilmartin about living with Bipolar I, from severe mania and hospital stays to finding three years of stability. She also shares how facing death repeatedly led her to create Café Mortel, where people gather to talk about life, death and the kind of funerals they actually want.
1:35:58•18 Oct 2024
Bipolar I, Big Emotions and Talking About Death with Ruby Cohen Love
Episode Overview
- Bipolar I can involve dangerous manic behaviour, including driving and travelling while severely sleep‑deprived and undernourished.
- Medication such as lithium may support stability, but Ruby stresses that accepting the seriousness of bipolar and taking responsibility for lifestyle and environment are crucial.
- Recovering from a crisis and inpatient stays can take a year or more before feeling truly integrated back into everyday life.
- Deep depression can bring obsessive thoughts about death and even research into euthanasia, while still leaving a person unsure they could act on suicidal urges.
- Café Mortel uses art, design and shared meals to create spaces where people can talk openly about death, funerals and legacy in ways that reflect who they really are.
“It’s terrible to be in that place where you don’t want to die, but you don’t want to live.”
Experience the emotional and inspiring tales of recovery as Ruby Cohen Love sits down with Paul Gilmartin to talk frankly about Bipolar I, extreme mania, crushing depression, and what it means to stay alive when death feels constantly close. Ruby shares her diagnosis story, describing her first manic episode in 2015 and the brutal swing between “elite level” mania and six‑month stretches of paralysing depression.
She jokes that mania is “the big mama”, but doesn’t gloss over the danger: driving on mountain roads with no sleep, food or water, and later spiralling through airports, casinos and foreign cities until she ends up sectioned in a psychiatric ward and then sent to rehab.
Her honesty is searing: “It’s terrible to be in that place where you don’t want to die, but you don’t want to live.” For anyone living with bipolar or supporting someone who is, Ruby’s emphasis on responsibility stands out.
She credits three years of stability to lithium, but stresses that “medication is not the only thing that you need.” She talks about accepting bipolar as “a serious condition that makes me have a special relationship with my mind,” then choosing carefully how she treats her body, who she spends time with, what work she does, and how she talks to herself. The conversation then shifts to mortality.
Ruby describes how repeated brushes with suicidal despair pushed her to create Café Mortel, a “death style” brand built around beautifully designed death cafés. Over dinners and afternoon teas, people share stories about life and death without drifting into religion or politics. Ruby wants death to feel less morbid and more honest, using art, design and humour to help people talk about funerals, legacy and the “biggest secret” we all share.
Anyone juggling mental illness, addiction recovery, or a complicated relationship with death may find comfort in Ruby’s mix of dark stories, practical choices, and creative ideas about how to live fully while knowing the clock is ticking. What would your own funeral look like if you let yourself ask the question?
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