#74 Relationship Pillar 2: The Lost Art of True Intimacy

#74 Relationship Pillar 2: The Lost Art of True Intimacy

How can compelling narratives motivate and inspire others? This episode of the Call To Courage Podcast leans into that question by looking at the second pillar of relationships: true intimacy. Aimed especially at men, the conversation between hosts Gareth Pickering and Matt Dahse asks a confronting starter: **can you name your partner’s three deepest fears?** If the answer is no—or there’s a long pause—this chat might hit close to home.

Gareth and Matt break down why so many men mix up intimacy with sex. As Gareth puts it, many men “translate that hunger, that desire to be seen into desire” and go straight for erotic connection, when what they actually crave is to be seen for who they are. They unpack how this confusion quietly erodes trust and leaves both partners feeling unseen and rejected.

Matt shares how his wife, who he describes as highly sensitive, can feel when he’s putting on a brave face: “my words aren’t matching my energy.” What used to feel like an attack has become a cue for him to pause, check in, and remove the mask. That honesty, he explains, is “the chain” that builds emotional connection, safety, and then genuine sexual intimacy.

The episode also looks at why many men struggle to show emotion, touching on childhood messages like “don’t show your emotions, just get your shit together.” Men’s circles and the Magnetic Masculine Masterclass are presented as training grounds for practising truth-telling so that authenticity becomes a habit, not a heroic one-off. You’ll hear a simple but punchy framework—the three S’s: self (self-awareness and self-responsibility), system (a practical process for change), and support (a community that keeps you honest).

Together, these pieces are offered as a way to move from surface-level, mask-to-mask relating into deeper, safer, more connected partnerships. If you’ve ever wondered why you feel distant from your partner even though you share a bed, this conversation might spark some uncomfortable but important questions.