#89 Why people pleasing isn’t who you really are it’s the fawn response#89 Why people pleasing isn’t who you really are it’s the fawn response
The Trauma Recovery School
This episode explores the fawn response, a survival mechanism often mistaken for people-pleasing, offering insights and strategies for reclaiming one's true self.
5:21•6 Nov 2025
Breaking Free from People-Pleasing: Understanding the Fawn Response
Episode Overview
- The fawn response is a survival mechanism, not a personality trait.
- It often originates from unsafe childhood environments.
- Awareness is key to recognising and changing this pattern.
- Inner child work and boundary setting are essential for healing.
- Assertiveness helps reclaim one's true self.
“"Your needs matter 100%. Your voice matters. And the world needs to hear the real you."”
Ever wondered why you can't seem to say no, or why you constantly put others' needs before your own? This episode of The Trauma Recovery School sheds light on the fawn response, a survival mechanism that often masquerades as people-pleasing. Bonita Ackerman du Preez, an award-winning master trauma recovery therapist, dives into how this response is not a reflection of who you truly are but rather a learned behaviour from past traumas.
Bonita explains that the fawn response typically originates in childhood environments where expressing needs or saying no wasn't safe. As a result, many grow up believing that keeping others happy ensures their own safety. However, this self-abandonment can lead to anxiety, exhaustion, and feeling disconnected from one's own life. The episode is packed with practical advice on how to break free from this pattern. Bonita emphasises the importance of self-awareness and recognising when the fawn response kicks in.
She introduces inner child work and the theracoach pro system as effective methods for healing. Moreover, establishing boundaries and learning assertiveness are highlighted as crucial steps in reclaiming one's true self. Bonita's compassionate approach offers hope and guidance for those ready to stop living in survival mode. With a mix of personal anecdotes and professional insights, she reassures listeners that their needs and voices matter. It's time to stop abandoning yourself and start living the life you truly want.
Are you ready to embrace the real you?
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