Are We Too Quick to Cut Off Family? A Conversation with Rachel BarkerAre We Too Quick to Cut Off Family? A Conversation with Rachel Barker
The Relationship Recovery Podcast
Tiffany, Kierstyn and Rachel Barker talk about the rise in family estrangement, questioning why going no contact has become so common. They share real examples, discuss misused psychological buzzwords and consider how both parents and adult children might choose conversation and grace before cutting ties.
1:22:37•11 Aug 2026
Family Estrangement or Last Resort? Rachel Barker Talks Cutting Off Parents
Episode Overview
- Going no contact with family is presented as a serious last resort, after attempts at conversation, clear boundaries and genuine effort from both sides.
- Parents and adult children are urged to remember each other’s humanity and generational wounds rather than reducing one another to labels like "toxic" or "narcissistic".
- Buzzwords such as gaslighting and boundaries should be used with care and context, not as weapons or shortcuts to cutting people off.
- Therapists and coaches should support healing and autonomy, not push estrangement or keep clients dependent on them.
- Healthy relationships depend on mutual effort and realistic expectations; both parents and children may need to adjust boundaries rather than demand perfection.
“A relationship is two ways. A relationship is not one person giving, giving, giving, giving, and the other one taking, taking, taking, and vice versa.”
How can compelling narratives motivate and inspire others? This conversation between hosts Tiffany Denny and Kierstyn Franklin and guest Rachel Barker tackles the growing "epidemic" of family estrangement and the rising trend of adult children going no contact with their parents. Rachel, a seasoned motivational speaker and mother of five, shares how a single DM from a long-time follower opened her eyes to the sheer number of parents being suddenly cut off.
She describes seeing therapists and influencers online "giving advice that was completely reckless" and cheering on estrangement in everyday situations rather than cases of clear abuse. Her concern led her to ask, "Are we too quick to cut off family?" Tiffany and Kierstyn bring years of coaching experience into the mix, noting how terms like "gaslighting", "boundaries", "toxic" and "narcissistic" are now thrown around casually, often without context.
They stress that going no contact should be a last resort, after attempts at honest conversation, clearly communicated boundaries, and a genuine effort from both sides.
As Tiffany explains, "There’s a lot, a lot, a lot of steps before we're like, nope, no contact." The trio talk frankly about parents feeling shame, failure and isolation when an adult child cuts them off, and about kids facing the hard task of seeing their parents as imperfect humans with their own wounds and generational baggage.
Rachel’s reminder that "a relationship is two ways" frames the entire episode: both parents and adult children need grace, accountability, and realistic expectations of each other. If you’re wrestling with whether to step back from family or trying to make sense of being cut off, this candid chat may help you ask different questions: is there room for conversation, context and compassion before you draw a hard line?
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