BE HIGH MAINTENANCE - 142BE HIGH MAINTENANCE - 142
THE STAR MONROE SHOW
Star Monroe talks about being “high maintenance” as a way for midlife women to raise their standards, from dating and boundaries to daily habits. She shares candid stories of quitting a nightly bottle of wine, choosing conscious singlehood, and committing to small, consistent changes that build a desire-led, sober life.
33:53•27 Jun 2026
Be High Maintenance: Raising Your Standards in Midlife and Sobriety
Episode Overview
- Being high maintenance is framed as demanding more from yourself first, rather than expecting others to meet your needs.
- Noticing and challenging judgements of other women helps reveal how deeply “nice” and “good girl” conditioning runs.
- Shifting from external validation (especially from men) to self-validation changes dating choices and strengthens self-worth.
- Gradually stopping a nightly bottle of wine and staying alcohol-free is presented as a key way of raising standards and easing anxiety and menopause symptoms.
- Small, consistent actions over time build self-trust, change energetic frequency, and naturally lift the quality of relationships, work, and daily life.
“When you give to yourself what you want other people to give you, that's when you stand in your power.”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety? This episode of THE STAR MONROE SHOW zooms in on the idea of being “high maintenance” as a radical act of self-respect, especially for women in midlife who are tired of playing small and being the endlessly “nice” good girl. Star Monroe chats about treating “high maintenance” not as diva behaviour, but as demanding more from yourself first.
She shares how carefully tweaking language in her business, choosing who gets access to her time and energy, and building a new life in America are all examples of raising her own standards. For Star, it’s the tiny, consistent shifts that matter: “It’s the small things over a long period of time that are going to make the difference.” The episode also speaks directly to women who are rethinking alcohol.
Star openly recalls her nightly “sneaky bottle of wine”, the way it fuelled anxiety and made menopause symptoms worse, and how she slowly talked herself into stopping drinking. Three years alcohol-free, she still feels the pull in a shop full of booze, but describes firmly walking out, reminding herself she can’t “get away with it” anymore. Dating, too, comes under the spotlight.
Star notices how chasing external validation from men kept her from valuing herself, describing the moment on a treadmill when she caught herself checking if a random man was looking at her and thought, “See yourself, notice yourself, validate yourself.” From there, she chose conscious singlehood, self-validated attention, and even a king-sized velvet bed that she’s decided no man will ever share.
Throughout, the message is clear: being high maintenance means expecting more from yourself so your energy rises, your standards rise, and your life starts to match. If you’re a midlife woman flirting with sobriety, bolder boundaries and desire-led living, could demanding more from yourself be your next brave move?
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