Bonus EP: From Hot Mess to Badass w/ Sarah Curnoles on Healing After a BreakupBonus EP: From Hot Mess to Badass w/ Sarah Curnoles on Healing After a Breakup
The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast
Breakup coach Sarah Curnoles chats with Allison K. Dagney about turning heartbreak into a launchpad for self-worth, using her "hot mess to badass" framework. They talk grief, closure, mindset shifts and practical tools for anyone feeling lost after ending a painful relationship.
44:41•27 Aug 2026
From Hot Mess to Badass: Sarah Curnoles on Healing Your Heart After Breakup
Episode Overview
- Stop judging yourself for how you feel after a breakup; all emotions are valid, even numbness.
- Create closure for yourself instead of waiting for an ex to provide answers or validation.
- Schedule short daily "feeling appointments" with music to help move emotions through your body.
- Question beliefs like "my person wouldn’t leave me" and replace them with ones that honour your value.
- Allow the messy phases of grief and identity loss as necessary steps toward becoming your "badass" self.
“Closure is not given. It is created.”
Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey and emotional healing after toxic relationships? This bonus episode of The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast brings breakup coach Sarah Curnoles together with host Allison K. Dagney for a frank, funny and deeply human chat about going from "hot mess" to "badass" after a breakup or divorce.
Sarah shares how her four-and-a-half-year relationship ended with the words, "I love you, but I don't see a life with you anymore," and how she realised she'd shrunk her dreams and even paused her coaching business to keep the relationship "safe." Instead of funding a wedding, she used her wedding savings to invest in therapy, coaching, women's embodiment groups and travel, saying, "I am worthy of that money… this is my future.
I'm investing in myself." You’ll hear her four-phase "hot mess to badass" process, built around the caterpillar-to-butterfly metaphor. She normalises the gooey "hot mess" stage where you can’t get out of bed, the post-breakup makeover phase, and the painfully long middle phase where you still care about your ex but know you can’t go back. For anyone stuck replaying conversations and craving closure, Sarah’s blunt reminder hits home: "Closure is not given.
It is created." The episode speaks directly to women recovering from emotional abuse, rumination and identity loss, but it’s equally relevant to anyone trying to heal from heartbreak without numbing out. Practical tools include five-minute daily "feeling appointments" with music that matches your mood, questioning beliefs like "my person wouldn’t leave me," and daring to be "a little bitchier" in breakups instead of always playing the nice, self-sacrificing one.
If you’re crying every day, judging yourself for still caring, or clinging to the idea that your ex holds the key to your peace, this conversation might be the nudge you need to start putting yourself first and reclaim your future. Are you ready to let your hot mess be the beginning of your badass story?
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