BRN #77 Julia M. Hayes ❖ The Sacred Pause: Healthy Boundaries, Wise Effort & Radical KindnessBRN #77 Julia M. Hayes ❖ The Sacred Pause: Healthy Boundaries, Wise Effort & Radical Kindness
BRN Podcast: Buddhist Recovery Network
Julia M. Hayes talks about her book SatiSeva, sharing Buddhist-inspired practices that weave mindfulness, service, boundaries and radical kindness into recovery. The conversation touches on stigma, habit energy, practical tools for supporters and seekers, and the deep importance of belonging.
1:06:12•16 Sept 2026
SatiSeva and the Sacred Pause: Mindfulness, Boundaries and Radical Kindness in Recovery
Episode Overview
- Recovery can be approached as a spiral of learning, revisiting familiar lessons from a new vantage point rather than seeing setbacks as failure.
- Using playful tools like the mantra "Wow, would you look at that?" can soften harsh self-talk and create space for mindful awareness in daily life.
- Broadening the focus from addiction to negative habit energy invites everyone into the work, reducing stigma and separation between "addicts" and "non-addicts".
- Healthy boundaries are more effective when they are flexible and relational, like stone walls that allow visibility and conversation rather than total shutdown.
- Compassion and enabling aren’t simply good or bad; paying attention to emotional cues and "should" stories helps people respond more wisely to loved ones in recovery.
“You belong here because you are here.”
What drives someone to seek a kinder way of doing recovery? This BRN Podcast conversation brings together Buddhist practice, creativity, and community care through Julia M. Hayes’ new book, *SatiSeva: Reimagining Recovery and Support*.
Julia talks with host Beth Herzig about pairing mindfulness (sati) with service (seva), and why recovery isn’t just a straight line but more like a spiral – “while I may be going in a circle, I’m on a different plane.” She explains the intentional symbol on the book cover and how it reflects growth, the elements of life, and, crucially, mystery: the relief of not having to have everything figured out.
A big theme here is shifting from a narrow focus on “addiction” to a wider look at “negative habit energy” as something every human carries. Julia questions harsh labels and stigma, reading a powerful section on resentment towards systems that pathologise people while failing to offer adequate care. She’s clear that many approaches have merit, but she wants more space for nuance, conversation, and shared humanity.
You’ll hear about her “instruments of peace” – simple, playful tools like the mantra, “Wow, would you look at that?” that help people soften self-judgement and notice what’s really happening, whether that’s in meditation or in the supermarket queue. She offers practical pointers for different groups: those in early recovery, people returning after relapse, burnt-out supporters, and anyone unsure about Buddhism but curious about mindfulness.
Later, Julia unpacks healthy boundaries using her image of Irish stone walls, *bala clohe*, as a way to create a “sacred meeting” between people rather than a fortress or a free-for-all. The conversation circles back to belonging – summed up in her line, “You belong here because you are here” – and closes with a Thich Nhat Hanh quote on life as an instrument of truth.
If you’re craving gentler, more spacious ways to relate to addiction, support, and self-kindness, this one might be worth a pause. How could you become an instrument of peace in your own recovery story?
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