Caring for patients with kindness and connectionCaring for patients with kindness and connection
Bear Psychology Podcast
Dr. Anna Baranowsky talks with Dr. Douglas Flemons about what real empathy looks like in clinical work and how to care deeply without burning out. Their conversation blends research, stories and practical tools for anyone in a caring role, from therapists to everyday supporters.
1:02:08•26 Jun 2026
Kindness in the Therapy Room: Empathy Without Burning Out
Episode Overview
- Cold emotional distance may feel protective for clinicians, but it harms patients and increases the risk of burnout.
- Compassion fatigue is better understood as resonance fatigue, and it can be reduced by learning to engage and disengage empathically.
- Effective empathy means imagining the client’s experience from within their world, rather than comparing it to one’s own life.
- Humility and curiosity (“I don’t have a clue what it’s like for you”) help clients feel genuinely seen and reduce resistance.
- Allowing emotions to move through, rather than fighting them, supports both therapist self-care and deeper connection with clients.
“The heart of empathy is deciding where are you going to localise your curiosity.”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety? This conversation between psychologist Dr. Anna Baranowsky and therapist, author and supervisor Dr. Douglas Flemons looks at one quiet but powerful ingredient: genuine empathy. Aimed at therapists, first responders and anyone in caring roles, the talk keeps things grounded and very human. Dr.
Flemons admits he “couldn’t shut up” about empathy, describing how writing his book was both “fun and incredibly frustrating” as he waded through clashing theories to figure out what empathy actually is in practice. You’ll hear them tackle compassion fatigue, which he prefers to call “resonance fatigue”. Instead of advising clinicians to toughen up or go cold, he explains how emotional distance backfires for both patient and practitioner.
His focus is on learning to “empathically engage but also empathically disengage” so you can be fully present with someone’s pain without being crushed by it. The episode is rich with stories: a trainee therapist who shut down after a traumatic case, a teenager rejecting a therapist’s attempt to bond by sharing his own loss, and everyday examples of grief and fear.
These moments highlight the difference between piling your own story on a client and, as Flemons puts it, “localising your curiosity” inside their world so they finally feel less alone. There’s also a gentle nod to Buddhist ideas like the “second arrow”, and a playful meditation exercise about welcoming every thought and feeling to the “party” of awareness. The tone stays warm, often humorous, and very practical, especially for trauma-focused work.
If you’re in recovery, working in mental health, or simply supporting struggling friends and family, this conversation might prompt you to ask: how could a little more empathic curiosity change the way you care for others—and yourself?
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