E276 Learn to Sit With Yourself

E276 Learn to Sit With Yourself

How do people cope with the challenges of staying sober? This chat between Matt J and Steve digs into that odd stretch of sobriety where life looks fine on paper, yet you still feel restless, anxious, or deeply uncomfortable in your own skin. They talk honestly about realising sobriety doesn’t magically fix self-esteem or emotional chaos.

Steve shares how, even years alcohol-free, he still wrestles with old patterns: crashing when expectations aren’t met, obsessing over unfinished to‑do lists, and freezing in front of overwhelming tasks. Instead of numbing those feelings with drink, he leans on tools from his programme, therapy, and a lot of trial and error. You’ll hear plenty of everyday examples – unfinished DIY jobs, yard work, money worries, relationship disagreements – and how these “ordinary” stresses used to trigger drinking.

Now they become chances to ask for help, pick up the phone, or speak up in meetings. Matt explains how being an active participant in recovery groups, even going “off topic”, opened doors to support he didn’t expect, especially while tapering anxiety medication. A key theme is learning that sitting with yourself is different from isolating. It’s about feeling uncomfortable emotions without obeying them or letting them run the show. As Matt sums it up: **“Discomfort is not failure.

Feeling anxious, restless, or afraid doesn't mean you're doing sobriety wrong.”** The episode is especially helpful for anyone with some sober time who wonders, "Why do I still feel this way?" It offers reassurance that emotional growing pains are normal and gives practical ideas for staying present, asking for help, and taking the next small step instead of running. So, what’s one feeling you’re starting to sit with rather than escape from?