Engage: Do The Work (Full Episode - Archive)

Engage: Do The Work (Full Episode - Archive)

Curious about how others manage their sobriety journey when the real work feels exhausting? This archived Relational Recovery conversation with Wes Thompson and Austin Hill circles around a simple but uncomfortable truth: if you want change, you’ve got to do your own work. Speaking from their experience at The Refuge, a 24/7 inpatient rehab for substance use disorder rooted in Christian spirituality and psychology, they talk honestly about why effort feels so hard.

The guys in their programme are getting more one-to-one and group support, more assignments, more life-mapping – and some simply don’t want to engage. Wes points out that counsellors, coaches and community can guide, support and challenge, but they can’t “fix” anyone: “People can guide and help and definitely support and push, but they can't heal us or fix us.” Austin builds on this by unpacking self-responsibility.

He explains that outsourcing every decision to a sponsor, pastor or therapist isn’t growth; it’s just following orders. Real change starts when someone hears feedback, owns their choices and asks, “What am I going to do about it?” rather than waiting for someone else to act. You’ll hear them tackle common barriers to recovery work – feeling hopeless, acting like life is a lottery ticket, or staying stuck in constant complaining.

They gently, and sometimes bluntly, challenge the habit of moaning about problems without taking any step forward. From showing up engaged in groups to writing things down, talking honestly with others and taking even one small action, they keep bringing it back to practical movement.

If you’re feeling stuck, tired of relapse, or surrounded by people who complain but don’t change, this honest chat offers a clear message: you can’t control everything, but you can choose to show up and do something today. What small step could you take instead of buying another ‘lottery ticket’ with your life?