Ep 182. Have You Had Enough? Why Your Old Ideas Are Keeping You Stuck, with Ash ButterssEp 182. Have You Had Enough? Why Your Old Ideas Are Keeping You Stuck, with Ash Butterss
Behind The Smile with Ash Butterss
Ash Butterss reflects on the question "Have you had enough?" and how old ideas, people pleasing and fear keep people stuck in addiction and unhappy lives. She shares her own recovery experience, practical tools and journaling prompts to help you consider whether it’s time to let go and choose a different path.
31:27•5 Jul 2026
Have You Had Enough? Ash Butterss on Old Ideas, Alcohol and Letting Go
Episode Overview
- Saying yes when you mean no creates resentment and is a subtle form of manipulation.
- True self-esteem develops through esteemable acts that align with your values and integrity.
- Sobriety can be easier than trying to manage and control alcohol, especially for those who identify as alcoholic.
- Letting go of old ideas and identities is essential to stop suffering and allow growth.
- Journaling, meditation and spiritual practices help you access answers that are already within you.
“People pleasing is not actually pleasing anyone. It's a form of manipulation because if you're saying yes when you really mean no, you then carry the resentment.”
How do people find hope in the darkest times? Ash Butterss tackles that question head-on in this solo instalment of Behind The Smile, asking a simple but confronting question: "Have you had enough?" From alcohol to relationships, careers and perfectionism, she talks about the point where pain becomes too great to ignore and something has to change.
Ash starts with a personal life update, sharing the joy and complications of her elopement and wedding anniversary, using it to unpack a big theme: people pleasing. She explains how saying yes when you mean no is "a form of manipulation" that builds resentment and emotional "rocks" in your backpack, leaving you exhausted and disconnected from your true self.
For anyone wrestling with alcohol, Ash speaks openly about the stigma around the word "alcoholic" and how it kept her stuck for years. She contrasts the stereotype of homelessness and paper bags with her own story of looking successful on the outside while feeling "absolutely dead inside". Hearing other women share similar patterns of drinking helped her recognise herself and see that sobriety can be far easier than endlessly trying to control alcohol.
A big focus is the "gift of desperation" and the difference between pain and suffering. Pain, she notes, is part of life; suffering often comes from clinging to old ideas and identities like "I have to hustle to be worthy" or "I’m too old to start again". Ash offers practical ways to shift this: esteemable acts that align with your values, service to others, meetings, treatment, spiritual practices, and honest journaling.
She wraps up with powerful journal prompts, inviting you to ask where you’ve had enough, what old ideas you’re still clinging to, and whether you’re "still negotiating with [your] own suffering". So, are you ready to question your old ideas and create space for a new version of yourself to step in?
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