Ep319 – Love is Not Enough: 11 Dysfunctional Reasons Couples Stay Together
Ep319 – Love is Not Enough: 11 Dysfunctional Reasons Couples Stay Together

Untoxicated Podcast

When relationships deteriorate, as frequently happens in an alcoholic marriage, partners often stay together clinging to the romantic fairytale or because of binding dysfunction that makes leaving feel impossible. In this episode,

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1:14:21•27 Oct 2025

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About this podcast

Untoxicated Podcast

Matt & Sheri Salis

Sheri and Matt Salis just wanted a normal life – normal marriage, normal careers, a normal house and happy kids. Instead, they lived a life of lies and terror as they struggled with Matt’s alcoholism. While their experience sounds rare, with over 15 millions problem drinkers in America, their alcoholic marriage was all too normal. Matt has been writing about their experiences in alcoholism and recovery for years. On the Untoxicated Podcast, Sheri and Matt talk about it, too. No subjects are off limits as the couple discusses the trauma of active addiction, the pain of early recovery, the destruction and rebuilding of trust, and the impact on their intimate relationship. If you love an alcoholic, the disease will terrorize your relationship. We hope you’ll listen and find healing in our shared stories. For more support from Sheri and Matt, check out their Echoes of Recovery program providing connection and healing for the loved ones of alcoholics.

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Love Isn't Enough: Why Couples Stay in Dysfunctional Relationships

Episode Overview

Traditional wedding vows can trap couples in dysfunctional relationships.
Denial and normalisation of toxic behaviour are common in alcoholic marriages.
Legal and financial complexities often prevent couples from separating.
Staying together 'for the kids' may not be in the children's best interest.
Detachment can be an effective catalyst for positive change.

“"Love is not always enough. We live in a fantasy world where we think everything can be overcome."”

What makes a recovery story truly inspiring? In this episode of the Untoxicated Podcast, Matt and Sheri Salis explore the complex reasons couples often stay together despite dysfunction, especially in the context of alcoholic marriages. With Halloween costumes adding a touch of humour, they tackle serious themes such as the unrealistic expectations set by romantic fairytales and the burdens of societal and religious pressures.

Matt shares his journey through alcoholism, highlighting how denial and normalisation of toxic behaviour can trap couples in unhealthy relationships. Sheri offers her perspective as the stable partner who changed and matured, challenging the notion that change is inherently negative. Together, they delve into 11 dysfunctional reasons couples might stay together, ranging from legal complexities to the all-too-common 'staying for the kids' rationale.

The Salises argue for a shift in perspective, suggesting that prioritising personal health and self-respect over traditional vows might be the key to healthier relationships. They also discuss how detachment can sometimes be the catalyst for positive change in a partner struggling with addiction. Through their candid conversation, Matt and Sheri provide both a cautionary tale and a hopeful roadmap for those navigating similar challenges. Could rethinking the vows we make be the secret to healthier partnerships?

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