Episode 646: How to Support a Loved One Through Gambling Addiction with Anita Ondine SmithEpisode 646: How to Support a Loved One Through Gambling Addiction with Anita Ondine Smith
Busy Living Sober with Host Elizabeth Chance
Elizabeth "Bizzy" Chance talks with Anita Ondine Smith about supporting a partner through gambling addiction, focusing on stigma, boundaries and honest communication. The conversation shares Anita’s experience, practical tools from her book *Assist*, and the importance of hope and community for both gamblers and their loved ones.
47:45•4 Jun 2026
Supporting a Gambler You Love: Anita Ondine Smith on Boundaries, Hope and Tough Conversations
Episode Overview
- Stigma and shame around gambling addiction can delay help for years, affecting both the person gambling and their family.
- Seeing yourself as a “supporter”, rather than a fixer, helps you focus on your own choices and responses instead of trying to control someone else.
- Responsible gambling for those without addiction issues means setting clear money and time limits and sticking to them.
- Clear boundaries sound like “this is what I will live with” rather than “you must stop”, and they are essential for healthy relationships.
- Open, age-appropriate conversations about addiction and gambling with children can act as early protection and reduce secrecy and fear.
“Get comfortable having uncomfortable conversations.”
How do people cope with the challenges of staying sober when gambling takes centre stage instead of alcohol? This conversation between host Elizabeth "Bizzy" Chance and guest Anita Ondine Smith goes straight into the messy, practical reality of loving someone with a gambling addiction. Anita, a writer, lawyer and sports agent, speaks from lived experience as the wife of former NBA player Randy Livingston, who struggled with casino gambling for decades.
She explains how stigma kept both of them silent: she couldn’t tell anyone, he couldn’t ask for help. As she puts it, shame was “the number one impediment” to getting support. You’ll hear how Anita moved from feeling “hopeless, lonely, afraid” to becoming what she calls a “supporter” – someone who can help without trying to fix.
Her book *Assist* was born from that journey, offering a “menu of options” for partners, parents and friends who want to act but don’t know where to start. The chat covers responsible gambling (“play with a plan” and set clear limits), why abstinence is the safest route for some people, and how seemingly harmless office sweepstakes or fantasy brackets can be as triggering as offering a drink to someone who’s sober.
Anita also shares how technology and constant screen time can act like a mini casino in your pocket, especially for kids. One of her strongest messages is about boundaries and hard conversations. She explains the turning point as learning to say, “I am not willing to be in partnership with somebody who has a gambling addiction,” instead of “You need to stop or else,” and how that shift opened the door to honest recovery work together.
If you care about someone’s gambling – or you’re just curious how families manage this alongside sobriety – this chat might give you the language, courage and hope you’ve been missing. What conversation have you been avoiding that could change everything?
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