Episode 88: Tending to the Voice Within with Barbara McAfeeEpisode 88: Tending to the Voice Within with Barbara McAfee
The Well-Tended Life
Keri Wilt chats with voice coach and singer-songwriter Barbara McAfee about how tone, sound and song shape confidence, boundaries and healing. Their conversation links vocal expression with intentional living, emotional honesty and tending to one’s inner life garden.
53:43•19 Aug 2026
Finding Your True Voice with Barbara McAfee
Episode Overview
- Tone often matters more than words; people tend to trust how something is said over what is said.
- The voice can be trained using simple practices like voiced yawns, singing along with favourite rock songs and playful character voices.
- Different ‘elements’ of the voice (such as earth or fire) can help with specific needs like grounding, setting boundaries or expressing passion.
- Trauma and grief can show up in the voice, and singing or making sound can unlock emotion and support natural healing.
- Paying attention to the personal story of your voice – its blessings, criticisms and key memories – can reveal new ways to show up more fully in life.
“You can have great content and lousy tone, and people are going to believe the tone.”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety? For many, it starts with finally listening to the sound of their own voice – and that’s exactly where this conversation with voice coach, singer-songwriter and author Barbara McAfee heads. Speaking with host Keri Wilt, Barbara shares how crippling stage fright and a lifelong sense of “what’s wrong with me?” pushed her into a deep relationship with her voice.
She jokes that she’s been “water skiing behind my voice” ever since, letting it pull her into healing, creativity and bolder self-expression. You’ll hear Barbara explain her Five Elements framework – earth, fire, water, metal and air – and how each shows up in everyday speech. She shows how a grounded “earth” voice can finally make a boundary land, while a soft “water” tone might be the one you need for a real apology.
As she puts it, “You can have great content and lousy tone, and people are going to believe the tone.” The pair also touch on trauma, grief and stress, and how sound can crack open emotions you didn’t even realise were sitting in your chest.
Keri shares how singing after a devastating flood made her suddenly sob, and Barbara responds simply, “We are designed to heal… our voice is medicine.” From voiced yawns to belting along with rock anthems, Barbara offers tiny, practical experiments that anyone can try – even if you’ve been told your whole life you “can’t sing”. This episode is a gentle nudge to pay attention to the story your voice is telling today.
If someone only heard your tone, what would they learn about you – and are you ready to let that voice get a little bigger, braver and kinder?
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