Episode 85: It’s Not a Crisis—It’s an Emergence with Carolyn Flynn

Episode 85: It’s Not a Crisis—It’s an Emergence with Carolyn Flynn

How do people find hope in the darkest times? This conversation between host Keri Wilt and writer Carolyn Flynn leans right into that question, especially for women in midlife who feel a bit frayed at the edges. Carolyn shares how her fifties looked less like a "jubilee" and more like being "stuck in the stagnant" as grief, career shifts, menopause, and an empty nest all collided.

She admits she had been "living an untended life" and hit what she calls a "colossal failure of the imagination" about what could come next. Watching her twins launch into their own coming-of-age raised a daring question: could there be a second coming-of-age for her too? Instead of treating midlife as a decline, Carolyn talks about it as a "becoming of age" and even an emergence.

She describes reframing empty nest as "freedom"—and then laughingly adds, "Freedom is confusion," until a friend told her, "whatever your life will be from this step forward, it's really yours to design and make." Life design, for her, begins with one simple question each morning: what kind of day can this be? The chat moves into accumulated grief: losses of parents, roles, health, homes, and even the face in the mirror.

Carolyn links her healing to emotional agility, mindfulness, and a fierce willingness to sit with discomfort instead of rushing past it. One of her strongest lines is, "My remedy for grief is to tell it to the page," and she and Keri talk about journalling as a way to give hard feelings language and light. You’ll also hear about spa-tub Tuesdays, hiking, meditation, and learning—often the hard way—how to rely on other people.

If midlife feels like it’s unstitching you, this gentle, funny, and honest conversation might help you ask, "Why does this unstitch me?" and start stitching something new in its place.