Episode #9 I Love My AddictionEpisode #9 I Love My Addiction
The Shrink and The Drunk
Your addiction usually starts off with some great…
20:51•3 Dec 2018
Why They Still "Love" Their Addiction and Choose Recovery Anyway
Episode Overview
- Addiction often starts as a powerful escape that brings excitement, confidence and relief, which is why it can be so hard to give up.
- Using can become a way to avoid vulnerability and stay "small", providing a built-in excuse to dodge responsibility and risk.
- Over time, addiction usually shifts from pleasurable to miserable, where substances are taken just to function or avoid withdrawal.
- Real change often comes either when the pain outweighs the pleasure, or when a stronger sense of purpose and relationships becomes more important than using.
- Early recovery includes grieving the loss of the addiction and honestly accepting that the pull toward it may still appear, even while choosing sobriety.
“"When you're on the ambivalence fence... what's gonna win? Not recovery. Addiction wins. Because if you give addiction an inch, it takes a mile."”
What makes a recovery story truly inspiring? This episode of The Shrink and The Drunk takes a gutsy angle by openly admitting, "I love my addiction." Brandon, a therapist, and Derek, a self-described drunk in recovery, talk plainly about why addiction feels so good at first – and why that makes letting go so brutally hard.
You’ll hear Derek describe the rush of heading to the liquor store at 10 a.m., the thrill *before* the first drink, and the confidence boost of showing up to dates hammered with “gum and cologne” as a cover. Brandon breaks down why addiction can seem “pretty amazing” at the start – it numbs pain, adds excitement, offers validation, and even lets people "play small" by giving them an excuse to avoid risk, failure and vulnerability.
The conversation shifts into the darker side: the friend whose food addiction led to losing a foot, the woman with cirrhosis who “looked like a banana” yet couldn’t stop drinking, and the bleak stage where using is no longer fun, it’s just necessary to feel normal. They highlight the painful ambivalence of wanting to stop but pouring another drink moments later.
Brandon outlines two main drivers for change: when the pain finally outweighs the pleasure, or when someone taps into a deeper purpose – family, faith, or a sense of calling. Derek shares how recovery didn’t magically erase the appeal of alcohol, and how part of staying sober is honestly admitting, “I still do” love aspects of it, while choosing not to go back.
This episode speaks directly to anyone stuck on the fence – still functioning, still “having a good time”, but quietly wondering if things are slipping. It also gives families a clearer picture of why “just stop” isn’t as simple as it sounds. Could it be time to ask what you really want your life to be about?
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