Faux Farm Boy

Faux Farm Boy

Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey? This Untoxicated Podcast instalment shares Matt Salis reading his essay "Faux Farm Boy" from his Underlying Issues series, blending alcohol-free life with the messy, hilarious roots of his "underlying issues".

Matt kicks things off by admitting, "I might not drink alcohol anymore, but those underlying issues, I still got them and I'm still working through them." From there, you'll hear a string of childhood and adulthood farm memories that say as much about identity and shame as they do about muck boots and pig pens.

He recalls growing up in a farm town without actually being a farm kid, trying desperately to fit in at his friend Casey's place with pig manure fights, disastrous attempts at riding hogs, and the ongoing threat posed by a horse charmingly named Golden King Blazer, "an asshole horse" seemingly dedicated to his demise. The humour is unapologetically crude at times, but it’s wrapped around the awkwardness of adolescence and wanting to belong.

Later, the story jumps to adult experiences on a small farm in Indiana, where a dare to catch a 180‑pound ram lamb ends with Matt literally stuck in a fence, standing in manure in his white sock. The rattle harness used to mark the ewes the ram mounts becomes a running joke that cleverly touches on sex, status and human ego.

While this piece doesn’t walk through step‑by‑step recovery advice, it gives a clear sense of how past experiences, embarrassment and humour all sit under the surface of someone who no longer drinks but still has work to do on himself. It’s frank, funny and slightly filthy, and might leave you thinking about your own "underlying issues" hiding beneath everyday memories. Which half-forgotten stories from your past might still be shaping the way you feel about yourself today?