GBR Podcast Beyond Addiction Ep-3GBR Podcast Beyond Addiction Ep-3
Beyond Addiction, Future of Addiction Treatment Today!
Barnett Gilmer and Kat Carley talk through a plant metaphor for addiction, showing how shame, ego and inner unrest drive the visible cycle of using. They also address substitution and the difference between fleeting pleasure and deeper happiness that comes from within.
26:58•15 Sept 2025
Beyond Addiction’s Plant Metaphor: Shame, Ego and the Cycle of Using
Episode Overview
- Treating only the visible behaviour of addiction without addressing inner unrest often leads to relapse or substitution with another addiction.
- Shame and self-punishment feel like they might stop using, but actually intensify painful feelings and deepen the cycle of addiction.
- Ego, whether inflated or self-hating, disconnects people from seeing reality clearly and from accessing genuine solutions.
- The belief that lasting happiness comes from external things creates fertile soil for addiction; sustainable peace arises from within.
- Real change begins by looking beneath the surface at the "soil" and "roots" instead of focusing solely on stopping substances.
“"A person who's in addiction needs shame, like someone dying of thirst needs salt water."”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety? This conversation between Gulf Breeze Recovery CEO Barnett Gilmer and admissions director Kat Carley takes aim at the part of addiction everyone can see: the messy, painful behaviour above the surface. Using a simple plant metaphor, they break down addiction into soil, roots and the visible plant. The "soil" is what Barnett calls the "outside-in misunderstanding" – the belief that "something outside of myself...
is capable of providing good, peaceful, serene feelings". The "roots" are the inner unrest: anxiety, depression, trauma and deep insecurity that push someone to look for relief. From there, they move into the cycle of addiction itself: use a substance to feel better, the effect wears off, you feel worse, so you go back to the substance.
Kat explains how shame supercharges this pattern: "shame is a great amplifier" and "a person who's in addiction needs shame, like someone dying of thirst needs salt water". It looks like it might help you change, but only makes you feel worse and drives you back to using. They also talk about ego in a very down-to-earth way.
Ego isn't just a "big head"; it can be the harsh inner voice that says "you're worthless" or the grandiose "nothing can touch me" persona. Both, Kat says, "separate a person from the solution" by keeping the addiction alive in a place "where there's no solution". A major warning they share is about substitution: cutting off one behaviour without healing the roots.
Barnett gives the example of someone having gastric bypass to stop overeating, then developing an alcohol problem because "it didn't address the underlying issue". The episode closes by stressing that people are "more than the sum of all the things" they've done, and hinting at their next topic: how to make the "soil" less fertile for addiction by reconnecting with innate health.
If you've ever wondered why stopping the substance is only half the story, this one might get you thinking about what lies underneath.
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