Hi Marissa, It's Jack [Season 11, Episode 4]Hi Marissa, It's Jack [Season 11, Episode 4]
AA Grapevine's Podcast
Marissa shares her 13-year sobriety journey, describing how fear, service, and steady AA action reshaped her life and relationships. The hosts also address accessibility in recovery and offer simple, practical guidance on sponsorship and support for differently-abled members.
31:51•27 Jul 2026
Treat It Like a Service Commitment: Marissa’s 13 Years Sober
Episode Overview
- Small, consistent actions in AA can gradually replace fear with peace and stability.
- Treating difficult relationships like service commitments helps remove self-centred thinking and build healing behaviour.
- Esteemable acts, such as giving rides or making coffee, slowly create genuine self-esteem.
- AA members and sponsors adapt tools like audio, plain language and structured support for those with literacy or other challenges.
- You only need more sobriety than the person you sponsor, plus a stable programme and willingness to grow alongside them.
“My sponsor told me to treat that relationship like a service commitment until it didn't feel like one.”
What drives someone to seek a life without alcohol? This episode centres on Marissa M. from Concord, California, sharing her 13-year sober milestone with hosts Don and Sam in a mix of humour, honesty, and hard-won wisdom. Marissa talks about arriving in AA "absolutely drowning in fear" and terrified she'd feel like "an alien" forever. She explains how her early relief came in tiny pockets: one meeting, one phone call, one piece of reading at a time.
As she puts it, "I had to learn one action at a time that I was not going to light on fire and die." Her story is full of practical AA tools, rather than drama, showing how small actions and staying connected helped her move from self-loathing to genuine self-respect. A big theme is service. Marissa describes treating difficult relationships, especially with her mum, as if they were AA commitments.
Her sponsor’s advice – "treat that relationship like a service commitment until it didn't feel like one" – becomes a turning point. By showing up as a "good daughter" even when she didn’t feel like it, she slowly replaced shame with steady, loving behaviour, grounded in the St Francis prayer and AA principles. The episode also touches on accessibility in recovery.
Rudy’s email asks for tips on working with sponsees who have literacy or other challenges, and the hosts highlight stories from members with autism, brain injury, dyslexia and Down syndrome, showing how sponsors and AA groups adapt through audio, plain language and creative service opportunities.
Later, newcomer Alex asks, "How much sobriety do you need to sponsor someone?" Don and Sam answer simply: "One day more than they have," stressing that stable sobriety, familiarity with the Big Book, and a willingness to grow are what matter. Johnny pops in to share how he uses Grapevine stories and daily quotes to stay connected. Altogether, you’ll get humour, real-life struggle, and practical suggestions for staying sober and being useful to others.
What relationships or fears in your own life might change if you treated them like a service commitment too?
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