How Sex Addiction Should Be TreatedHow Sex Addiction Should Be Treated
I Love Being Sober
Tim Westbrook and Dr. Marcus Earl talk about how sex addiction is treated, highlighting trauma, shame and process addictions alongside substances. The conversation focuses on gentle, long‑term recovery, nuanced sexual sobriety and honest support for partners and families.
55:55•16 Jun 2026
Sex Addiction, Shame and Gentle Recovery: A Candid Conversation
Episode Overview
- Sex addiction treatment works best when it goes beneath labels and focuses on the person, their trauma and their coping styles.
- The PCS intensive model uses multiple therapists and shared notes to prevent hiding and create continuous, focused work.
- Shame is central to addictive behaviour, and recovery means learning to sit with shame rather than trying to eliminate it.
- Sexual sobriety is nuanced, often beginning with a full stop, then moving toward a personally defined, honest and non‑secretive sexuality.
- Partners should set boundaries that match their values, give themselves time after shock, and avoid rigid ultimatums they can’t maintain.
“I don't think recovery is about everything that's going to stop. I think it's the awareness that yes, I can stop the things I really need to stop.”
How do people cope with the challenges of staying sober? This episode of *I Love Being Sober* zooms in on sex addiction and why simple "just stop" advice rarely works. Host Tim Westbrook talks with Dr. Marcus Earl, Clinical Director of Psychological Counseling Services (PCS), about what truly helps when sexual behaviour, trauma and shame are tangled together. You’ll hear Dr.
Earl explain the PCS eight‑day intensive programme: 70 hours of therapy, five different therapists and a system where each clinician sees live notes from the previous session. As Tim jokes, you might feel "off the hook" after one session, but you’re really not – the next therapist picks up exactly where the last one left off. A big theme is that the substance, or the behaviour, often isn’t the core issue. Dr.
Earl talks about porn becoming his "immediate hook" in a lonely childhood, and how neglect and disconnection can be as impactful as more obvious trauma. He emphasises that shame "is the driver" across addictions, and suggests the goal isn’t to erase it but to "befriend" it and learn to sit with the parts of ourselves we’ve long avoided.
The conversation also covers process addictions like food, shopping and exercise, the blurred lines of sexual sobriety, and why secrecy is a major red flag. For partners, Dr. Earl stresses the importance of setting boundaries that fit their own values while allowing space for shock, grief and reassessment instead of rigid rules they can’t realistically keep.
Throughout, the tone stays honest and down‑to‑earth, mixing clinical experience with personal stories, a few laughs, and a strong push towards gentle, long‑term recovery rather than harsh, performative "rock star" sobriety. If you’ve ever wondered whether there’s more going on under your drinking, using or compulsive behaviour, this conversation may prompt you to ask: what am I still hiding, and who could I safely talk to about it today?
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