How Sex Addiction Should Be TreatedHow Sex Addiction Should Be Treated
I Love Being Sober
Tim Westbrook talks with Dr Marcus Earle about how sex addiction is treated, the central role of shame and trauma, and the nuances of sexual sobriety. The conversation also touches on partners’ experiences, process addictions and the value of a gentler, more honest approach to long-term recovery.
55:55•16 Jun 2026
How Sex Addiction Treatment Really Works: Shame, Trauma and Honest Sobriety
Episode Overview
- Sex addiction treatment at PCS uses an eight-day intensive model with about 70 hours of contact, including work with five different therapists to limit hiding and deepen honesty.
- Shame is described as a key driver behind addictions, with recovery focused on befriending shame rather than trying to erase it.
- Sexual sobriety is more nuanced than substance sobriety and may involve an initial abstinent period followed by individually defined healthy sexuality, always with openness rather than secrecy.
- Unresolved trauma, loneliness and neglect can underpin sexual addiction and other compulsive behaviours, even without obvious "big" traumatic events.
- Partners and loved ones are urged to trust their gut, set evolving boundaries, and seek deeper truth and connection rather than accepting surface-level stories.
“"I don't think the goal of recovery is to eliminate shame. I have a strong belief it's our ability to befriend our shame."”
How do people cope with the challenges of staying sober when sex, love and connection can also be addictive? This conversation on **I Love Being Sober** takes that question head‑on, with host Tim Westbrook talking to Dr Marcus Earle, Clinical Director at Psychological Counseling Services (PCS). Across decades of working with sexual addiction, trauma, OCD and compulsive behaviours, Dr Earle has seen that the issue is rarely just alcohol or sex. As he puts it, "I think it's pretty common...
there's always going to be something else. It's not just the one addiction." You’ll hear how PCS’s eight‑day intensive model offers around 70 hours of contact, including 34 hours of individual work with five different therapists, designed to stop people hiding and start talking about what they "don't want to talk about".
This chat is especially useful for anyone in substance recovery who suspects something deeper is going on – whether that's porn use, compulsive relationships, OCD patterns or long‑buried trauma. Dr Earle explains why shame is "the driver for all of us" and why the goal isn’t to get rid of it, but to "befriend our shame" and learn to sit with the parts of ourselves we most want to avoid. Sexual sobriety gets unpacked in refreshingly honest terms.
It’s not a simple "just stop" rule; instead, there’s nuance around periods of abstinence, developing healthy sexuality, and the crucial test of secrecy: if you can’t talk openly about a behaviour, something’s off. Partners and families aren’t forgotten either.
Dr Earle speaks frankly about betrayal, boundaries and why gut feelings around half‑truths matter, while still pushing for a kinder, less rigid approach to recovery: "The more we stay away from judgment, the better we are." If you’ve ever wondered whether there’s more to your recovery than putting down the drink or drug, could this be the missing piece in your own recovery puzzle?
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