How To Avoid A Relapse: Mistake #3 Not Finishing The StepsHow To Avoid A Relapse: Mistake #3 Not Finishing The Steps
I Love Being Sober
Tim Westbrook talks about how failing to finish the 12 steps can lead to relapse and shares personal and sponsor stories to show why completing the process matters. The episode focuses on commitment, sponsorship, and keeping recovery as the priority in early sobriety.
22:12•5 Jul 2022
Finish What You Start: Why Completing the 12 Steps Matters for Staying Sober
Episode Overview
- Not finishing the 12 steps leaves recovery on an incomplete foundation and increases the risk of relapse.
- The real emotional work begins at step four, with major relief from guilt and shame starting at step five and growing through ninth step amends.
- Life improvements like relationships, jobs or money can distract from step work, so keeping recovery as the main focus is crucial.
- Choosing a sponsor with the kind of sobriety and life you want is important, and changing sponsors is acceptable if the fit or availability isn’t right.
- Following a sponsor’s guidance and working the steps thoroughly, in order, is presented as a key factor in achieving long-term sobriety.
“People that don't finish the steps don't stay sober.”
Curious about how others manage their sobriety journey? This episode of "I Love Being Sober" zeroes in on a big relapse risk: starting the 12 steps and then stopping halfway. Tim Westbrook speaks directly to people in their first year of sobriety, laying out why "people that don't finish the steps don't stay sober" and what can be done about it.
You'll hear Tim break down the 12-step process in plain language, pointing out that the real grind begins at step four and that "freedom from the guilt and the shame starts at step five." He walks through how unfinished work leaves old wreckage and shame lurking in the background, making relapse far more likely when life inevitably gets tough again. The episode mixes practical guidance with real stories.
Tim shares how sticking with his sponsor, doing step work weekly, and holding off on dating helped him stay focused and become one of the few who didn't relapse in their first year. In contrast, he talks about John, a man he sponsored who was "so close to finishing the steps" but shifted his attention to a new relationship and eventually relapsed.
On the flipside, there's David from a homeless shelter, who worked the steps thoroughly and is still sober two years later. Tim also explains how to choose and, if needed, change sponsors, stressing that "your best thinking got you where you are today" and that following direction is part of building a new way of living.
The core message is simple but challenging: make a commitment, finish what you start, and keep the focus on your recovery rather than the distractions that show up once life starts improving. If you're in your first year or supporting someone who is, this straight-talking episode asks a tough question: are you truly committed to finishing the steps and giving yourself the best chance to stay sober?
Do you want to link to this podcast?
Get the buttons here!
More From This Show
The latest episodes from the same podcast.