How To Avoid A Relapse Mistake #5 Hanging Out With Friends You Drank And Used WithHow To Avoid A Relapse Mistake #5 Hanging Out With Friends You Drank And Used With
I Love Being Sober
Tim Westbrook talks about why spending time with friends you drank and used with can quietly undermine early recovery. He shares personal experience and practical advice on choosing a new, sober circle to support long-term change.
13:55•19 Jul 2022
Why Old Drinking Buddies Can Sabotage Your First Year Sober
Episode Overview
- Spending time with people you drank and used with is identified as a key relapse mistake, especially in the first year of sobriety.
- Old friends who still use are unlikely to support a sober lifestyle, regardless of what they say, because their behaviour contradicts sobriety.
- For alcoholics and addicts, taking the first drink or drug is enough to restart the cycle, so avoiding triggering environments is crucial.
- Recovery is strengthened by surrounding yourself with people who already live the kind of sober, healthy life you want to build.
- Your environment and the people you spend time with have a stronger effect on your recovery than sheer willpower alone.
“"If you hang out at the barbershop too long, you are eventually going to get a haircut."”
What drives someone to seek a life without alcohol? This episode zeroes in on one deceptively simple but risky habit: spending time with the same friends you drank and used with. Aimed squarely at people in their first year of sobriety, the show breaks down why those familiar social circles can quietly steer you straight back to relapse.
Tim Westbrook, CEO and founder of Camelback Recovery, talks candidly about his own early recovery, sharing that he "completely removed" himself from the people he drank and used with for at least his first year. He explains that old friends who are still using may say they support your new lifestyle, but "their behaviours do not support sobriety".
One of the most striking lines sums it up: "If you hang out at the barbershop too long, you are eventually going to get a haircut." You’ll hear repeatedly that for alcoholics and addicts, "the first one is what it takes" and that "the environment always wins. Willpower doesn't work." Tim reinforces that staying close to people who still drink and use almost always leads to going "back out" eventually, even if it doesn’t happen right away.
The episode also talks about building a new circle of influence. Drawing on Jim Rohn’s idea that you’re "the average of the five people that you hang out with" and on Dr Benjamin Hardy’s work, Tim encourages people to choose companions who already live the kind of sober, healthy life they want.
He frames recovery as a process of becoming your "future self" and stresses that your environment and relationships have a massive impact on whether you stay clean and sober. If you’re wrestling with the idea of letting go of old drinking buddies, this conversation might prompt you to ask: who’s in your circle of five, and do they genuinely support the sober future you’re aiming for?
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