How To Avoid A Relapse: Secret #3 Develop A Positive Support NetworkHow To Avoid A Relapse: Secret #3 Develop A Positive Support Network
I Love Being Sober
Tim Westbrook shares why a positive support network is crucial in the first year of sobriety and how he built his own through sponsorship, meetings, service, and safe relationships. The episode also looks at intimacy, vulnerability, and choosing the right people to keep close in recovery.
16:04•24 May 2022
Building Your Sober Inner Circle: Why Support Networks Stop Relapse
Episode Overview
- A positive support network is essential, especially in the first year, when relapse rates are very high.
- Work closely with a sponsor, attend frequent meetings, and stay connected before and after meetings to build community.
- Use service work – from making coffee to visiting people in hospital – to stay engaged and accountable.
- Avoid dating in the first year and focus on real human connection, vulnerability, and honest relationships.
- Aim to spend most of your time with people who are conducive to your recovery, remembering you’re the average of the five people closest to you.
“Intimacy is a mutual exploration of a shared safe place. Abuse is anything that takes away the safe place. And addictions are what we do to make ourselves feel good when we don’t have a safe place.”
Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey? This episode of *I Love Being Sober* zooms in on one crucial ingredient for staying alcohol-free: building a positive support network in your first year of recovery.
Tim Westbrook speaks directly to people new to sobriety, stressing that “developing a positive support network is key to avoiding a relapse.” He points out that the odds of reaching one year sober are “less than 10%” without solid support, and lays out practical ways to stack those odds in your favour.
You’ll hear how he worked closely with a sponsor, went to “90 meetings in 90 days” (often more), and stayed connected through things like “the meeting before the meeting” and breakfast afterwards. Tim talks about surrounding yourself with people who “have what you want” – friends, family, professionals, and recovery peers who can offer honesty, accountability, and love.
He urges people in early recovery to put dating on hold for the first year, not as a punishment, but to create space for genuine human connection and emotional safety. A big part of the episode focuses on intimacy and safe relationships. Tim shares a definition he learned from Joe Polish: “Intimacy is a mutual exploration of a shared safe place. Abuse is anything that takes away the safe place.
And addictions are what we do to make ourselves feel good when we don’t have a safe place.” He explains how his first truly intimate relationship was with his sponsor, and how learning to be vulnerable and honest with trusted people changed the kind of relationships he attracted. Service work, therapy, and consistent contact with people in recovery tie it all together.
Tim makes the case that you’re “the average of the five people that you spend the most time with,” so being selective about your inner circle isn’t overcautious – it’s essential self-care. If you’re wondering who should be in your corner during your first sober year, this episode offers clear, lived experience and practical ideas to help you build a support network that actually keeps you safe. Who are the five people you’re letting shape your recovery today?
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