I'm Starting to Resent Something I Care AboutI'm Starting to Resent Something I Care About
Sober Friends
Matt and Steve talk about growing resentment toward a long-running AA meeting, burnout from carrying too much service, and shifting priorities around work and family. Their conversation reflects on letting go of control, accepting limits, and finding empathy and support in recovery communities.
32:08•20 Oct 2026
When Service Starts to Sting: Resentment, AA Meetings and Letting Go
Episode Overview
- Recognising when a cherished AA meeting has turned into a source of resentment can be a sign it’s time to share responsibility or step back.
- Being the person who always opens the doors, chairs and organises a meeting can create burnout, even when the intention is to help the next suffering alcoholic.
- It’s okay to grieve the idea of leaving a long-standing meeting and to take a break to loosen emotional attachment.
- Work does not have to outrank family; choosing children and loved ones over extra work hours can reflect healthier priorities in recovery.
- You don’t have to be Superman in service or at work; sharing the load and accepting limits can protect sobriety and peace of mind.
“I feel like I'm grieving over this, even though I haven't taken action on it yet.”
What drives someone to seek a life without alcohol? On Sober Friends, this conversation spins off in a very human direction: what happens when something you care deeply about starts to feel like a burden. Matt and Steve talk honestly about a struggling Monday night AA meeting that Steve has been holding together for years.
He’s the one with the key, the texts, and the constant question: “Steve, is there a meeting tonight?” After a night where new people arrived to a dark church, he finally snapped, sending a group message saying, in essence, if this meeting matters to your recovery, it’s time to show up and help. Steve admits he’s “tired of carrying that meeting” and compares his attachment to a relationship that’s gone bad but he hasn’t left yet.
He talks about possibly stepping away for a while just to “get my claws out of it,” and shares how a men’s meeting full of guys with serious pasts responded with real empathy. As he puts it, “That’s what this programme could do for you… turn you into a completely different person.” Matt brings the other side of the coin: a bungled work project, shifting priorities, and choosing family over people-pleasing at the office.
He describes deciding that work is “a job” and not his whole life, and how hugs with his son remind him where his heart actually sits. Together, they land on a simple theme: you can care, show up and do service, but you don’t have to be Superman. If you’ve ever felt over-responsible for a meeting, a job, or a family role, this chat might hit a bit close to home.
Where are you giving more than you’ve got, and what would it look like to let go, just a little?
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