Is It Okay to Question AA?Is It Okay to Question AA?
Sober Friends
Matt and Steve talk openly about questioning AA while still valuing it, from meeting styles and sponsors to God language and the Big Book. Their chat focuses on finding what genuinely supports sobriety, especially for people who feel out of place with traditional approaches.
31:17•15 Sept 2026
Questioning AA Without Walking Away From Sobriety
Episode Overview
- Questioning AA and its language does not remove its value; it can clarify how it helps you personally.
- If a meeting feels unhealthy or rigid, seeking other groups or online options can be an important part of protecting your recovery.
- Sponsors and one-on-one conversations are crucial for uncovering what’s really behind someone’s resistance or criticism.
- Newcomers who are struggling may benefit from trying AA “as written” first, then adapting the approach once they have some sobriety.
- Developing a personal understanding of God or a higher power, including changing prayers and language, can help keep the programme workable over time.
“What if somebody questioning AA isn't a problem AA needs to solve? Maybe the first response doesn't need to be corrected. It needs to be answered with this question: Tell me more.”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety? This conversation between Matt J and Steve C digs into a question many people are quietly asking: "Is it okay to question AA?" If you've ever sat in a meeting thinking, *I'm bored* or *these slogans don't fit me*, you'll feel seen here. Matt admits wondering if feeling bored or critical meant he was being disloyal to something that helped save his life.
Steve backs him up with a simple but powerful idea: "I question the value of it all the time, which doesn't make it less valuable." Together they talk about how AA can still be hugely helpful, even while you look at its history, language, and culture with a critical eye. You'll hear about hard‑line "this is the only way" old‑timers, mellow sponsors, and why the personality of a meeting can make or break the experience.
Steve talks through his own path of finding different meetings for every day of the week, choosing rooms that feel healthy and stepping away from the ones that don't. They also highlight modern options like Zoom and other recovery avenues that simply didn’t exist in the 1930s. A big chunk of the chat focuses on God language and the Big Book.
Matt shares how William Schaberg’s work on the creation of the Big Book opened his eyes to Bill W.'s storytelling and "playing hard and loose with the history" in service of helping people get sober. Steve connects this to his own spiritual shift, including reworking prayers so the word "God" doesn’t make him cringe.
Through it all, they keep newcomers in mind: questioning AA is okay, but if you're still trying to stop drinking, it might be worth trying the programme "as written" first, then adjusting later. As Matt puts it, maybe when someone says AA is "bullshit", the best response isn't a lecture but a gentle: "Tell me more." If recovery asks for rigorous honesty, shouldn’t there be space to be honest about AA itself?
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