Living Someone Else’s Dream

Living Someone Else’s Dream

Ever wondered whose dream you’re actually living? This episode of Inner Bonding zooms in on that unsettling feeling of having a "good" life that still somehow feels empty. Dr.

Margaret Paul talks about clients who’ve ticked all the boxes – respected careers, financial security, approval from family – yet come to her saying, "I've done everything I was supposed to do, so why don't I feel happy?" You’ll hear about the doctor who secretly wanted to be a writer and the attorney who hated litigation but loved helping people. Both were living their parents’ dreams until they dared to ask what they themselves truly wanted.

By making small changes, they started to weave their real passions into their lives and felt far more alive. Dr. Margaret explains how living for approval – chasing "shoulds" and trying to avoid disapproval – often comes from the wounded self, that fearful part of us that believes something bad will happen if we disappoint others.

She contrasts this with the "loving adult", the inner part that stays compassionate, asks "What is truly right for me?" and takes caring action rather than trying to control how others feel. She shares her own story of wanting to be a psychologist from age five while her parents mainly valued her for giving them grandchildren. Their lack of support was heartbreaking, but she’s clear that ignoring her calling would have hurt even more.

The core message is that living someone else’s dream drains your aliveness. Dr. Margaret encourages you to start simply: ask "What am I feeling?" and "Where in my life am I not being true to myself?" Then, take small, loving steps towards the life that feels real and meaningful to you, accepting that you can’t control others’ reactions.

Your life, she reminds you, "is not meant to be a performance." It’s meant to be an honest expression of who you truly are – and that’s where you start to come alive. So, whose dream are you really living?