Megan Koester Is A Great Writer. Why Isn’t She Writing?Megan Koester Is A Great Writer. Why Isn’t She Writing?
Really Good Shares
Megan Koester talks with A.J. Daulerio about self-sabotage, childhood trauma, EMDR and sobriety, questioning why she avoids using her clear talent for writing and comedy. The conversation also touches on grief, non-traditional views of God and prayer, and the uneasy relationship between healing and creativity.
55:44•15 Jul 2026
Self-Sabotage, EMDR, and Sobriety: Megan Koester on Wasting Your Own Talent
Episode Overview
- Unprocessed childhood neglect and complex PTSD can drive both drinking and relapse until the trauma itself is addressed.
- EMDR and therapy became the first things that actually reduced Megan’s desire to drink, even though she was initially resistant to help.
- Megan links her career in writing and comedy to a search for external validation she didn’t get from her parents, and now struggles with creativity as her life feels more stable.
- Fear of failure—and fear of success—fuels her refusal to self-promote, leading her to avoid projects she might actually succeed at.
- Both Megan and A.J. wrestle with non-traditional views of God and prayer, framing prayer as asking for assistance beyond themselves rather than a religious ritual.
“If I'm just always, you know, if I'm always like acting like I'm better than it or saying like I would never do that in a million years, then I don't have to do it. I'm my own worst enemy. 100%.”
What drives someone to seek a life without alcohol? In this episode of Really Good Shares, writer and stand-up comedian Megan Koester sits down with host A.J. Daulerio to talk openly about sobriety, trauma, and the maddening art of getting in your own way. You’ll hear Megan describe herself as “my own worst enemy, 100%”, unpacking how self-sabotage shows up in her refusal to promote her stand-up or fully commit to projects she’s clearly talented enough to pull off.
The conversation digs into why someone who’s “a very good” (or “too good”) drinker ends up desperate enough to read *The Body Keeps the Score* and spend $175 a week on EMDR to tackle childhood neglect and complex PTSD.
There’s a raw honesty as Megan talks about dissociation, minimising grief after her sister died, and how unprocessed trauma kept her stuck in relapse cycles: “Ever since I started doing it, doing it was the only thing that made me not want to drink.” She also wrestles with the strange side effect of feeling happier and less anxious: has healing made her less creatively driven, or just less reliant on pain as fuel?
The episode will resonate if you’ve ever resented your own gifts, feared both failure and success, or been allergic to self-promotion in recovery. A.J.
and Megan bounce between dark humour and serious reflection, touching on atheism and agnosticism in recovery spaces, what prayer can mean to someone who doesn’t buy a traditional God, and how time slowly reshapes grief when “the more the person’s dead, they don’t come back and you’re still here.” If you’ve wondered why it’s so hard to write, perform, or share your story when sobriety finally gives you some peace, this conversation might feel uncomfortably familiar—in a good way.
What old beliefs about yourself are still holding you back from doing the thing you’re best at?
Do you want to link to this podcast?
Get the buttons here!
More From This Show
The latest episodes from the same podcast.