Not My Shame: Daniela Tilbrook’s Path from Shame to Strength

Not My Shame: Daniela Tilbrook’s Path from Shame to Strength

What drives someone to seek a life built on truth after years of secrecy and pain? This Naturally High episode follows trauma survivor and coach Daniela Tilbrook as she talks with host Jeanne Foot about childhood sexual abuse, crushing shame, and the long road to reclaiming her story. Daniela shares how the title of her book, *Not My Shame*, came from realising she had spent most of her life protecting others with her silence.

She explains, in plain language, what it’s like to carry a family secret so heavy that alcohol, people-pleasing, and toxic relationships start to feel normal. Her story includes religious trauma, generational denial, and the heartbreak of a mother who could not fully acknowledge what had happened. You’ll hear how Daniela gradually moved from “keeping the peace” to choosing herself, even when that meant stepping away from her mother and the house where the abuse took place.

She walks through the healing tools that helped her over 21 years: talking therapies, Internal Family Systems, EMDR, journaling, an ayahuasca retreat, and the power of supportive communities like Heroic. The conversation also touches on alcohol-free living. Daniela is approaching four years without a drink and describes sobriety, yoga, meditation, running, and time with her kids as what keeps her “naturally high” now, instead of chaos and hangovers.

This is a raw but surprisingly hopeful listen for anyone carrying shame, questioning their family story, or wondering if it’s too late to change. It gently shows that while you can’t rewrite the past, you can stop letting it run the show. What might shift for you if you decided, like Daniela, that it was never your shame to carry in the first place?