Pamela Michaux: Childhood, Survival, and Self-Ownership | Episode 165

Pamela Michaux: Childhood, Survival, and Self-Ownership | Episode 165

Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey? Brain Shaman host Michael Waite sits down with author Pamela Michaux, whose memoir *Mundele Diaries* traces her journey from a protected childhood in Congo to abuse, racism and survival in Belgium. You’ll hear Pamela describe being labelled the “mundele child” in Congo, then called a racial slur at school in Belgium, and how that identity confusion mixed with family betrayal and violence.

She explains being sent to Europe “for a better life” and instead becoming an unpaid child carer, saying she was forced into “a survival mode that you start to cope with”. The turning point comes when she runs away at 12, takes her abusers to court, and finds an orphanage that felt “like being in a luxury hotel” because she was finally allowed to be a child.

Pamela speaks openly about later numbing her pain with alcohol and drugs, and why she now says, “I turned my pain into purpose.” Her tools include therapy, writing her memoir to “own my past”, learning the “vitamin N” of saying no, and refusing to pour from an empty cup. She also shares concrete self-protection strategies, like putting people “where they belong”, cutting off those who disturb her peace, and using a simple pros-and-cons list as if advising her own son.

The tone is honest, sometimes darkly funny, and surprisingly practical for anyone dealing with trauma, family chaos, addiction, or codependency. If you're looking for real talk on boundaries, self-respect and healing from childhood hurt without sugar-coating, this conversation might give you both validation and a gentle push to start choosing yourself more often. What small “no” could give you a much bigger “yes” to your own life?