On Dating Cops (Don't)On Dating Cops (Don't)
A Stripper's Guide
Celeste talks with host Delilah Saul about dating a man who became a cop, the threat of police power in relationships, and building real safety as a sex worker. The conversation also touches on religious family roots, queerness, a caring current partner and practical strategies for staying safer in the industry.
26:52•27 Feb 2026
On Dating Cops (Don’t): Celeste on Sex Work, Safety and Love
Episode Overview
- Partners can use the threat of police involvement as a form of control against sex workers, turning “concern” into coercion.
- A truly supportive partner actively helps with safety planning, emotional check‑ins and respecting sex work as real work.
- Growing up with rigid religious beliefs and a non‑emotionally available parent can train people to over‑tolerate poor treatment in relationships.
- Online sex worker communities and client‑reporting tools offer crucial peer advice, especially for newer and survival workers.
- Black sex workers face added layers of racism and performative allyship, making clear financial boundaries and follow‑through especially important.
“Don’t date cops, folks. You heard it from us.”
How do different strategies aid in addiction recovery? Here, the focus is on how sex workers build safer love lives while juggling stigma, danger and family pressure. Host Delilah Saul talks with New York City–based worker and artist Celeste, who shares the story behind the episode title, “On Dating Cops (Don’t)”.
Celeste recalls a college boyfriend who later became a police officer and told them, “since I’m going to be a cop, I would have no choice to report you” for selling used clothing and seeing clients. Celeste describes how “the way that he posed that… felt like a threat”, especially as a Black, immigrant’s child dating a white man who knew the risks they faced.
From there, the chat widens into how partners can weaponise police power against sex workers, and why “Don’t date cops, folks” isn’t a joke so much as a safety rule. Delilah keeps grounding the conversation in practical harm reduction: screening clients, encrypted check‑ins with friends, and using online worker communities and bad‑client reporting tools. Celeste also talks about growing up with a deeply Christian Barbadian mum, coming out as queer, and the emotional distance that followed.
They explain, with dry humour, how being forced to over‑understand a parent can bleed into romantic relationships where someone becomes “too understanding” of bad behaviour. There’s also a softer side: Celeste gushes about their current partner, who nudges them to rest, checks in on their feelings and helps organise safety plans.
They discuss being demisexual, juggling digital art, burlesque, go‑go and drag, and why they’re boycotting certain clients during Black History Month if “reparations” talk doesn’t show up in their bank balance. If you’ve ever wondered what dating, family and survival look like for sex workers under state scrutiny, this honest conversation might make you rethink who is really kept safe by policing – and what genuine support in a relationship actually looks like.
What kind of partner would you want if your work made you a target?
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