Stripper, No Stripping!Stripper, No Stripping!
A Stripper's Guide
Jessie, a circus performer and stripper, talks with host Delilah Saul about an abusive relationship that targeted her work and autonomy, highlighting how anti–sex worker stigma harms femmes and women. Their conversation focuses on control, whore-shaming, and how Jessie has rebuilt her safety, finances and sense of self through performance and stripping.
20:05•18 Mar 2026
Stripper, No Stripping! Jessie on Abuse, Stigma and Getting Her Life Back
Episode Overview
- Abusive partners may weaponise sex work or performance jobs to shame and control, even when those jobs existed before the relationship.
- Coercive control often includes stalking gigs, monitoring phones, controlling finances and making work so unpleasant that quitting feels like the only option.
- Whore-shaming insults hurt all femmes and women by treating anyone labelled a "whore" as disposable, regardless of whether they actually do sex work.
- Genuine support from a partner means respecting your autonomy and income, not using financial help as a reason to dictate your life or body.
- Recovery can involve rebuilding financial stability, reconnecting with work you love and taking time before re-entering romantic relationships.
“"Some loser sack of shit sees your beautiful shining confidence and wants to drink from that cup, but they're a vampire."”
What emotional and inspiring tales of recovery are out there? This conversation between host Delilah Saul and guest Jessie, a circus performer and aerial artist, offers a raw glimpse into how misogyny and anti–sex worker stigma can twist even the most "respectable" jobs into weapons of abuse. Jessie, who works in burlesque clubs, cabaret shows and as a stripper, talks about how an ex-partner slowly turned her pride in her work into shame.
He fixated on her lingerie costumes and past go-go dancing, insisting it was incompatible with being in a relationship. As Jessie puts it, her career went from a source of joy to something she felt she had to hide or quit to keep the peace. The episode walks through classic patterns of coercive control: financial dependency during COVID, monitoring her phone, stalking gigs and day jobs, and using lines like, "You get naked for other men.
Why won't you do it for me?" to pressure her into sex and strip away her boundaries. Delilah connects Jessie’s story to wider experiences in sex work, noting, "Some loser sack of shit sees your beautiful shining confidence and wants to drink from that cup, but they're a vampire." You’ll hear how whore-shaming language gets used against femmes and women regardless of whether they’re sex workers, and how being called a "whore" is really about declaring someone disposable.
Delilah and Jessie flag clear red signs for listeners: partners who track your time, sabotage your jobs, or act like paying rent gives them the right to control your body and career. Jessie also talks about life after leaving: rebuilding financial stability with stripping, teaching aerial hoop and other disciplines, and taking her time with dating as she heals.
It’s candid, sometimes darkly funny, and aimed at sex workers, femmes, queer folks and anyone who’s ever wondered, "Is this relationship behaviour actually okay?" If any of this sounds uncomfortably familiar, what would it look like to choose your own safety, work and joy first?
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