Relationships – Do You Believe You Can Make Others Change?

Relationships – Do You Believe You Can Make Others Change?

How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety and healthier relationships? This episode of *Inner Bonding* with Dr Margaret Paul turns the spotlight on one sneaky habit that keeps so many people stuck: trying to make others change.

You’ll hear how this pattern damages connection and why, as she puts it, "people change when they want to, not because someone is trying to get them to change." Using real client stories, like Brett and Teresa, she shows what happens when someone stops abandoning themselves to keep the peace and starts asking, *“What is loving to me?”* Brett’s health crisis and Teresa’s painful relationship with Jeff highlight how self-sacrifice and taking the blame can be a hidden form of control that harms both body and soul.

Speaking in a calm, straightforward style, Dr Margaret talks directly to anyone who keeps thinking, *“If only they would change, I’d finally feel okay.”* She explains how that belief quietly fuels control, whether it shows up as criticism and anger or as people-pleasing, caretaking, and walking on eggshells.

The heart of the episode is practical: Dr Margaret keeps bringing it back to specific questions you can ask yourself, such as, *“Am I trying to control or am I open to learning?”* and *“How can I offer safety and love to myself instead of waiting for someone else to provide it?”* Her focus on Inner Bonding gives structure to this shift, helping you turn inward rather than chasing someone else’s approval.

This gentle but direct conversation is ideal for anyone stuck in painful relationship patterns, including those whose drinking or recovery has been tangled up with difficult partners, family members, or friends. It’s an invitation to stop waiting for others to change and start caring for yourself in a way that can quietly change everything. Where might you be handing your power away by hoping someone else will finally be different?