“Waking Up Is a Process” with Daniel Fulop-Furlano“Waking Up Is a Process” with Daniel Fulop-Furlano
Emotional Sobriety: The Next Step in Recovery
Thom’s Nutshell: "Self-denial results in dependence. Self-acceptance creates independence." Waking up is a process, not an event. A road back to our true lost selves. Daniel Fulop-Furlano joins Allen to talk about his journey towards emotional sobriety, which began with the “Divided Sky” rehab retreat in Ludlow, Vermont. Dan’s book, “Sincerely, Delusional,” is a testament to both the sincerity of his delusion (which we also call “sleepwalking”), and the capacity, beginning with an earnest asking for help, that he’s built brick by brick as a person courageously exposing and addressing his deep set dependencies. Learn more about Dan and purchase his remarkable book: https://www.sincerelydelusional.com Learn more about Divided Sky: https://dividedsky.org Our music is provided by the great southern artist Jefferson Ross. Learn more about Jefferson at jeffersonross.com Visit our website: www.emotionalsobriety.info Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com Follow us on social media: Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs Friendly Circle Berlin workshops: https://friendlycircleberlin.org/events Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/ Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below): https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986 For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings. We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at pndirective4@gmail.com for any questions or comments.
36:26•10 Sept 2026
Waking Up From Sincere Delusion: Daniel Fulop-Furlano on Emotional Sobriety
Episode Overview
- Emotional sobriety is a gradual process of waking up, not a single event or instant transformation.
- Language such as "true self", "false self" and "sincere delusion" can help decode confusing inner experiences.
- Real change often starts with one honest decision, like agreeing to treatment even while still clinging to old beliefs.
- Self-compassion makes genuine honesty possible, without dodging responsibility or letting yourself off the hook.
- The principles of emotional sobriety can resonate with people beyond addiction, including friends and family of those in recovery.
“I got a second shot. I got 30 days to tell the truth. I got to stop pretending.”
What remarkable journeys have people faced head-on against addiction? This conversation with writer Daniel Fulop-Furlano lifts the curtain on what he calls "waking up" from sincere delusion and stepping into emotional sobriety. Psychotherapists Thom Rutledge and Dr Allen Berger keep things candid and conversational, mixing humour with hard truths. The chat centres on Dan’s time at the Divided Sky rehab retreat and the book that poured out of him afterwards, *Sincerely, Delusional*.
He describes boarding a plane to rural Vermont with his marriage collapsing and his life "circling the drain", still convinced he was a "special" case who needed a special fix. Through emotional sobriety classes and Dr Berger’s language of "true self", "false self" and "sincere delusion", Dan starts to realise his problem isn’t just alcohol or drugs, but a whole way of thinking. As he puts it, "When I said I was fine... that wasn’t manipulation. That was my truth.
And yeah, it was bullshit, but it was bullshit I believed." The hosts highlight how this shift from defending yourself to studying yourself requires compassion rather than self-hatred. You’ll hear how rehab became both a relief and a shock: trading freedom for a locked door, sweatpants and a bedtime, yet finally getting "30 days to tell the truth".
Dan and Thom compare notes on missing major life events for treatment, being told "you’re dangerous", and the odd euphoria of hitting bottom and being plucked into a safe space. The episode also stretches beyond addiction. Dan talks about meeting people who don’t drink at all yet see themselves in his story, and Allen shares his dream of writing about "life on life’s terms" for everyone.
The tone stays honest, funny and very human, making emotional sobriety sound less like perfection and more like a lifelong practice of waking up, again and again. If you’re curious about how people actually build emotional sobriety brick by brick, this conversation might be the nudge to look at your own "sincere delusions" with a bit more honesty and a lot more compassion.
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