What About the People Who “Keep Coming Back?”What About the People Who “Keep Coming Back?”
Audio/Video – The Freedom Model For Addictions
Mark Sheeran and Michelle Dunbar question why a small minority stay in AA for life while most leave, and talk directly to those who feel trapped or shamed by 12-step beliefs. They share their own past as AA devotees, challenge the powerlessness narrative, and point to other ways people move past heavy substance use.
40:22•10 Jun 2026
Questioning Lifetime AA Membership: Who Really Needs to “Keep Coming Back”?
Episode Overview
- AA’s own survey data is described as showing that about 95% of people leave within a year, while most of those reportedly resolve their substance use without ongoing meetings.
- Michelle and Mark differentiate between happy social AA members, struggling “chronic relapsers”, and hardline gurus, arguing that each group has very different experiences and needs.
- They challenge the belief that leaving AA leads inevitably to “jails, institutions and death”, suggesting this message can become a dangerous self-fulfilling prophecy.
- The hosts admit to once enforcing rigid AA rules and judging those who left, before research and experience led them to question ideas like powerlessness and the disease label.
- They stress they’re not against people who enjoy and benefit from AA, but strongly oppose imposing 12-step beliefs on those who are harmed or held back by them.
“"It's never good to believe a lie and live your life by it."”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety? This conversation between addiction specialists Michelle Dunbar and Mark Sheeran tackles that question by looking straight at one of the most controversial areas in recovery: people who stay in Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12‑step groups for life.
Speaking from decades inside and outside AA, they break down AA’s own numbers, pointing out that around 95% of newcomers leave within a year, while a small minority stay and often become the loudest defenders. They’re clear that they respect anyone who feels helped by meetings, fellowship and the “recovery” identity, but they push back hard on the idea that leaving AA equals certain doom.
As Mark puts it, "The vast majority of people that leave AA solve their problem on their own." You’ll hear them unpack different “types” within that remaining 5% – the social-club regulars, the people cycling in and out and feeling broken, and the hardcore “big book thumpers” and gurus.
They’re candid about their own past as true believers, including sponsoring others, enforcing 90‑in‑90 rules and writing off anyone who left as “not a real alcoholic” – and how later research shattered those beliefs. A big theme is the harm they see in teaching people they’re powerless and doomed without meetings, especially for those labelled “chronic relapsers”.
They argue that many of these people simply don’t buy the AA narrative, and need a different way of thinking rather than more of the same. At the same time, they stress they’re not trying to drag happy AA members out of their groups – just offering an alternative for those who feel trapped, scared or shamed.
If you’ve ever wondered whether recovery must mean a lifetime of meetings, or felt judged for choosing a different path, this chat might have you asking: what if you’re far more capable than you’ve been told?
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