17: Brave Together Podcast - Jessica Patay, Susanna Peace Lovell and Dr. Zoe Shaw - Episode 1717: Brave Together Podcast - Jessica Patay, Susanna Peace Lovell and Dr. Zoe Shaw - Episode 17
UK Health Radio Podcast
Wendy Ernzen shares her family’s experience of parenting a daughter with level 3 autism and bipolar disorder, from daily crises to eventual housing support. The conversation focuses on extreme caregiving, community, boundaries and how telling these stories can help change systems and reduce isolation for other parents.
48:01•13 May 2026
Brave Parenting, Extreme Caregiving and Finally Becoming “Just Mum”
Episode Overview
- Extreme caregiving often includes invisible labour, constant hypervigilance and crisis management that others rarely see.
- Securing appropriate housing and 24-7 support can take months or years and may demand daily follow-up from families.
- Caregivers benefit from treating their own wellbeing as non-negotiable, including therapy, boundaries and small daily practices.
- Early access to community and mental health support can ease fear, grief and guilt for parents receiving a new diagnosis.
- Sharing honest caregiver stories helps others feel less alone and can highlight why better resources and systems are needed.
“We need to tell more stories more often, because when people truly see what families live with every day like ours, that’s when real change becomes possible.”
Get ready to be moved by real-life accounts of how families keep going when life looks nothing like the parenting manual. This conversation centres on mum and storyteller **Wendy Ernzen**, whose daughter Nicola lives with level 3 autism and bipolar disorder, and who needs round-the-clock support for everyday life. The episode lays out, step by step, what “extreme caregiving” actually looks like: barricading in bedrooms during violent episodes, using rescue medication daily, and turning housing applications into a full-time job.
Wendy recalls the breaking point with stark honesty, like the moment Nicola calmly said, “**I’d like to hit you right now**,” and how that sentence captured just how unsupported her daughter really was. Hosts **Jessica Patay** and **Susanna Peace Lovell** gently draw out the emotional layers behind the practical chaos: fear, grief, guilt and the constant pressure to be hypervigilant.
They swap stories about invisible labour, the myth of the “fun outing mum”, and the shared relief of hearing, “It’s okay that it’s not exactly what you expected. And it doesn’t mean it can’t be meaningful and joyful.” You’ll hear how a crisis finally led to Nicola’s placement on an autism campus, where she has her own flat, attends a transition programme, plays Special Olympics, and, crucially, her parents “get to be her parents” instead of her entire care system.
Wendy also talks openly about panic attacks, PTSD therapy, and why she thinks every diagnosis should come with automatic support for caregivers. Aimed at parents of disabled and neurodivergent children, this episode offers validation, practical realism and humour in equal measure. If you’ve ever felt guilty for needing a break, or terrified to admit you don’t feel safe at home, this conversation might help you feel a little less alone.
Who’s in your corner, and what would it look like to truly let them help?
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