Bonus EP: Finding Safe Friendships After a Toxic Relationship (with Dr. K)Bonus EP: Finding Safe Friendships After a Toxic Relationship (with Dr. K)
The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast
Allison K. Dagney and Dr. K talk about the loss of friendships during abuse and share ideas for rebuilding safe, supportive connections with other women. The conversation centres on believing survivors, following your interests, trusting your body’s signals and treating yourself as worthy of love and community.
1:03:06•6 Aug 2026
Finding Safe Girlfriends After Abuse: Building Trust and Community with Dr. K
Episode Overview
- Believe a friend who discloses abuse and focus questions on how she feels and what she needs, rather than details that can slide into blame.
- Accept that anxiety about meeting new people is normal, and shift attention from "Will they like me?" to "How do I want to feel in this room?".
- Reconnect with your own interests and moments of joy, then use those activities as a starting point for finding like-minded women and potential friends.
- Pay attention to your body’s signals and intuition in new friendships, slowing down when something feels off and noticing where you feel celebrated and safe.
- Start by being a girlfriend to yourself: affirm your worth, celebrate small wins and remember your experiences have given you strength and unique gifts.
“You are worthy of being loved. You are worthy of being supported. And your tribe is out there.”
Experience the emotional and inspiring tales of recovery as this bonus episode of The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast zeroes in on something many survivors quietly crave: safe, genuine female friendships after a toxic relationship. Host Allison K. Dagney welcomes her "new friend" Dr. K (Dr. Kanuma Simmons), founder of Girlfriendism International, who brings both professional expertise and lived experience of domestic and sexual violence.
Together, they talk honestly about how abuse shrinks social circles, why isolation is a deliberate tactic used by abusers, and how the absence of supportive women can literally become a life-or-death issue. As one powerful idea shared from a fellow advocate notes, women "don't die just because of their partners. They die because other women leave them" during domestic violence. You’ll hear Dr.
K describe different types of girlfriends—from the one ready to slash tyres to the one who gently holds space—and why starting with "just believe her" is often the best way to support a friend in danger. She unpacks how well-meaning questions can slip into victim blaming, and suggests safer ones like "What do you need?" and "How are you feeling?" that help survivors reach their own conclusions.
For those who say, "I don’t have any friends", there’s plenty of practical guidance: begin with what actually brings you joy, remember the last time you felt free, and follow those interests to find new communities. Dr. K stresses tuning into the body’s signals to spot red flags in new friendships, and encourages women to become a "girlfriend" to themselves first—affirming their worth and celebrating small wins.
At its heart, this episode is about reclaiming trust, rebuilding community and recognising that, as Dr. K puts it, "you are worthy of being loved" just as you are. Could finding one safe friend be the next step in your healing journey?
Do you want to link to this podcast?
Get the buttons here!
More From This Show
The latest episodes from the same podcast.