Bonus EP: What We Can Learn from a Narcissistic Mother After DeathBonus EP: What We Can Learn from a Narcissistic Mother After Death
The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast
Author Carole Murphy speaks with Allison K. Dagney about life with a narcissistic mother, the pain of going no contact and the impact of her mother’s death. She explains how working with a psychic medium and compiling the channelled sessions into a digital book shifted her understanding of abuse, grief and healing at a deeper level.
49:53•9 Jul 2026
Healing After a Narcissistic Mother’s Death: Carole Murphy’s Story
Episode Overview
- Carole spent over five decades minimising and normalising her mother’s abusive behaviour before finally recognising it as narcissistic abuse.
- Going no contact with an abusive parent can trigger intense grief, guilt and inner conflict, even when the decision is necessary for safety.
- Channelled sessions with a psychic medium gave Carole perspectives on her mother’s lack of early nurturing, possible brain injury and how these shaped her cruelty, without excusing it.
- Hearing her mother’s spirit acknowledge harm and speak with affection created space for Carole to move towards understanding and potential forgiveness.
- Carole compiled nine channelled sessions into a three-volume digital book to offer others a springboard for their own healing and meaning-making after narcissistic abuse.
““I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to bring forward all that came forward.””
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety and emotional recovery when the abuser is a parent who’s now passed away? This bonus episode of The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast sits with that question as Allison K. Dagney talks with author Carole Murphy about life with a narcissistic mother, going no contact, and seeking answers after her mother’s death.
Carole explains how she spent 53 years gaslighting herself about her mother’s behaviour, normalising cruelty because, as she says, who wants to believe that the person meant to love you unconditionally is actually abusing you? Things came to a head during the pandemic, when she moved in to care for her elderly parents and was confronted with escalating abuse towards herself, her terminally ill father and even her dog.
After fleeing the home and going no contact, Carole was left with crushing grief and questions therapy alone couldn’t answer. That’s when she made a bold choice: investing in six months of work with a psychic medium to communicate with her mother’s spirit and other spiritual figures. In one of the most striking moments, her mother’s spirit said, “I never meant to hurt you.
I never meant to bring forward all that came forward,” opening the door to a new way of understanding their relationship at a soul level. Carole shares how these nine channelled sessions helped her see themes like childhood neglect, head injury, and being “not resourced” in early life, without excusing the abuse.
She talks about moving from pure victimhood towards meaning, and how she turned the sessions into a three-part digital book so others living with the scars of narcissistic abuse can gain context, language and a sense of possibility for their own healing. If you’ve ever wondered whether closure or deeper understanding is possible after an abusive parent dies, this conversation might give you a new angle to consider.
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